Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

"I'd love to go out with you, but I never go out on days that end in
`Y.'"

Speaking of love, one problem that recurs more and more frequently
these days, in books and plays and movies, is the inability of people
to communicate with the people they love; Husbands and wives who can't
communicate, children who can't communicate with their parents, and so
on.  And the characters in these books and plays and so on (and in real
life, I might add) spend hours bemoaning the fact that they can't
communicate.  I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very _____least
he can do is to Shut Up!
		-- Tom Lehrer, "That Was the Year that Was"

Osborn's Law:
	Variables won't; constants aren't.

Know thyself.  If you need help, call the C.I.A.

Mad, adj.:
	Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence ...
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?
		-- Elliot, "E.T."

The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to
constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every
appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA
statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant.  This
also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.
		-- FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers

It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct
one.

Mophobia, n.:
	Fear of being verbally abused by a Mississippian.

