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( +F 2q ( 2  (Fd*x >;;0U?B/50O>%?Wt7# @ AK=4,0B+r8/#E'Bl<&?!Op@38-K!b7D+8>c4 /=D R(r1FA^JKGKfIGG`L$95PG/KKFH5HCVF3FEX@=B \ Gq B H >B!!E!!E!/"C4"Bw""F":#X#;i#D#3#D$G_$>$8$B%&^%D%A% &F'&!m&C&&B&D"'6f'1'D'((9(-S(A(E(D)CJ)?)2)-)%+*-P*<}**?*@+BQ+.++1+,?,>Q,&,,",5,-(0-=X--%-/-?-%;.`.Gx...@. +/C6/&y/9/H/C 0c0-s0 0+00@041P1Be1B1B1D+2Fo22B263EE3E3/323 04I=4D44B4-+5CX5C5156H6=^66d,6of the really hosed up selections you made in the game.Maybe you should retire, become a recluse, and ponder someYour score is to shameful to print, Hang in there, you are almost an entrepreneur extraordinairebook also published by Two Men Inc.You're getting there, maybe you should consider the inexpensive hintI'm afraid that still makes you a rookie in the world of business.With a score that low, you belong on the working end of a shit scoop! out of a possible , you've scored **********Thanks for playing Corporate Scumbags***********Death from AIDS isn't quite so sudden!!You should have taken the job at that San Francisco bath house.You're dead meat !!!!picture.exeEnter your choice (1/2) 2. Try for another position 1. quitWould you like to:tumultuous work environment.You obviously don't have what it takes to succeed in today's May you toss fitfully in your bed tonight, you shirking welfare dog!the opportunistic gooks and krauts nor the running dog commies!!!With an attitude like yours the country will be safe from neitherYou gutless under-achieving piker!!!!Even schmucks like these have a code of ethics!!What you did is considered 'grand larceny'.upon as 'good sport'.Stealing a single customer here or there was OK. In fact, it was lookedsucking, chicken killing worshipers of Satan.demoniac icons, making it appear that you were 'sacrificed' to blood They then demolish your car, spray-painting it with graffiti and otherto a bloody pulp of crushed bone and mangled flesh.Using ballbats, and starting with your knees, they methodically beat youappointments, you are greeted in the parking lot by several co-workers.Monday morning, while on the way to finish the last of your 'stolen'hardly wait for the following week.At the end of the week, you pocket your 10% and head for home. You can hot selling items.$2500 worth of condoms, body candy, vibrators, penis enlargers and otherUsing some of Willy's artful sales pitches, the first week you sellThe customer usually doesn't care.the traffic wasn't as bad as what you had anticipated.the 'real' salesman. You profusely apologize to the customer, saying thatTo keep the appointments, you show up about 20 or 30 minutes beforeYou are very busy for the next week, keeping these stolen appointments.adroitness and stealth. You are quite proud.The mere act of 'pulling' this shit off, is evidence of your great return it's proper place.You then take the book to the duplicating machine, burn a copy, then use the john, you sneak to his desk and 'borrow' his appointment book.their business. As soon as one leaves his desk to get a cup of coffee orYou sit at your desk, watching the other salesmen as they go about appointments.2 - Utilize Willy's techniques, and start setting up some steal them. This is already an accepted office practice.1 - Let the other chumps make the appointments, and thenpublic.tbctalent truly warrants.another division, where the meager pay you will earn is what yourWilly realizes this, and benevolently decides to transfer you to It's obvious that you will never be the salesman that Willy is.the week, in much the same ignorant manner.You've blown this sale, and you continue to blow sales the rest of, that was a foolish approach!!.....Because you sound like a goddamn jerk!!!!She slams down the phone!.....You fucking 'pervert'!!!!She quips....indignantly......3 - How do you know you're not interested??2 - I'm not selling, just giving away free gifts!!1 - Well, you'll be interested in this!!She hangs up!...I'm always 'honest'.....and I don't have time!!She replies.....resolutely....Slam.....down goes the phone!!....Ab-so-fucking-lutely!!!!!!She screams.........3 - Be honest!! Are you really that busy??2 - I'm sure you are.....but....1 - What?? To busy to accept a free gift at your convenience??We hope you weren't stupid enough to have your foot in it!!It is a very heavy door!! 'thanks'. She then slams the door in your face!!With the door still chained, she grabs the condoms, and mutters2 - Tell her you're required to give a product demonstration first1 - Give her a free box of floral print condomsShe shows you to the door.....You'd better leave before I call the police.sick gadgets like these?....What makes you think a lady like me would be interested inShe patiently responds........and the Cataclysmic Clitoris Crawler.You attempt to gain her attention to both the G Spot Excavator,She slams the door after you.Get the hell out of my home!!....You debased deviate!! That is a disgusting device!!She responds.....belligerently.....manufacturing of sushi in Japan.principles used on the space shuttle, nuclear submarines and the.....It utilizes the same space age plastic technology and design'orgasm' of the future.You point out that this state of the art dildo represents the3Enter your choice (1-3)3 - Break out a couple of models for her to examine. 'G Spot Excavator.2 - Point out the therapeutic advantages of the 1 - Ask her if she already owns a massager.Boy!! When salesman get pissed, they really get pissed!!You are delicately given a battery acid enema!!your pants down around your ankles.and jerked into the bedroom. You are tied face down on the bed, with When you enter his place, you are suddenly snatched off your feet,You arrange to meet him at his apartment to show your wares.joining your Rubber of the Month Club.The next morning you get a call from a guy who is interested inWell!!! You do it anyway.........would think of it.This is such an obvious and infantile tactic, that only a moron You're going to fuck all the cars except your own??That ought to keep them from making their appointments!!2 - Sabotage their phone lines1 - Sabotage their cars....So long, sucker!! Ha Ha Ha!!!you hear Willy laughing.......As you and your car go tumbling down the mountain side,He pushes you over instead!!Not only is Willy smarter then you, he also is a much better driver.car through a guard rail, and over a cliff.While driving on an isolated road, you attempt to push Willy'sThe stage is set as you follow Willy home one night.21Enter your choice (1-2)2 - Set him up with a bogus sale1 - Arrange for him to have a 'little' accidentceo.tbcNational SalesYour salary is $85,000 per year.You are now in charge of National Sales.Congratulations!!You are a shoo-in for his job!!Willy has gone into hiding, with an assumed name.puts Willy on his death list.The Ayatollah finds this gesture personally insulting, and immediatelyWilly quickly has a camel produced and sends it to the Ayatollah.other 4,999 camels.his demanding standards, your company will be commissioned to produce the You direct Willy to send a prototype directly to the Ayatollah. If it meetsis not an issue in our country.size and life like. There is no need for them to be washable, since hygieneYou further explain that the camels must meet eastern Mil Specs, be life camels with vibrating orifices.Your government would like to contract the purchase of 5,000 inflatableYou tell him that you represent the Ayatollah of a far eastern kingdom.Donning a robe, phony beard, and a turban, you approach Willy in his office.How will you 'shaft' good ole Willy?The only viable alternative is to put the screws to him!!it will be difficult and time consuming to outdo him.You must have Willy's job, but you know that he is a top performer, andThere is only one place to go, and that is up!!It occurs to you that this may not be a safe place to work for much longer.The others in the office begin to hate you because of your accomplishments.Your shenanigans rate you the next bonus, and several others after that.your phone (after you, of course) and paying you too.'time is money'. It's a strange feeling, having them wait in line to useYou gladly 'rent' the others the use of your phone, explaining thatThis does the trick. Your's is the only phone that works consistently.but not to obviously so that it is readily noticed.on several different lines. You then ensure that they are shorted out,terminal box. You whip out your trusty Zippo and torch the insulationAt a clandestine moment, you pop open the cover to the telephoneThis ought to prevent them from setting up many appointments.How will you ensure your continued success, and beat your buddies?the bonus in the bag.As long as you outsell the other jaspers in the office, you should haveDue to your salesmanship, your other appointments go just as well.You leave, smug with the knowledge that you are truly a superb salesman.She hurries you out the door, anxious to try out her new toys.is her free gift.She declines your generous offer of a free massage, which you explainto have one of each.You point out what wonderful gifts these would make, and she just hasSpud.She delights with prospect of the Creeping Carrot, and the SpittingYou show her the Night Stalker, which resembles a stalk of celery.in our 'Vegy line of vibrators.....If you spend a lot of time in the kitchen, you might be interested....Incidentally, we have lots more you haven't seen yet!!You continue.....more for your money, and you can always buy a bigger purse......As for their size, look at it this way....You are getting a lotmention the versatility and convenience they offer.time, they will pay for themselves in battery savings alone, not to ....As you noted, our models are a bit more expensive, but in a year's If you enjoy going to the beach, we have a solar powered unit.upright vacuum cleaners, and self propelled lawn mowers.....We have a model that uses no batteries. It will attach to mostbed, and also double as a night light.rechargeable nicad batteries. They plug in to the wall, next to your....We have just what you need. Some of our models have built-in,You counter confidently.......Well!!! She says....I don't like replacing the batteries all the time.you 'don't' like about your unit?...I see that you're a very practical woman. Is there anything thatYou reply......it washes up easy, and it's a lot cheaper then the ones you offer.She shyly responds.....Well, it's small enough to carry in my purse,You question her on her 'feelings' about her vibrator.It's nothing like these you have in your catalog.....it's just a small white one that I use when I have a stiff neck.She shyly admits she owns one, but......What's your next big move?unusually interested in the vibrator section.inflatable doll, and penis pump sections. You note that she seemsYou have her browse through a catalog. She skips right by the condom,...Our products can benefit any adult, regardless of marital status.reasonably priced protective devices and marital aids in the world.You explain that Rubbers R Us produces the finest quality, mostShe lets you in, and seats you in the living room.You ask to come in to give the demonstration.How will you get in to make the sale?she demands her gift......not letting you in.As Ms. Prude cracks open the door in response to your knock,merchandise and catalogs.You call on her, promptly at 2:00, with two briefcases full of thank her for her time, and hang up before she changes her mind.You verify her address by quoting it to her out of the phone book,....Well...OK, how about 2:00pm on Wednesday??She replies.........When can I visit and drop off your free gift?by visiting you.honestly believe that I could benefit you and enhance your life....I wouldn't dream of wasting your time or mine, if I didn't.....I know you're busy, and so am I!!You continue......How do you respond to this rebuff?....Well....I'm really to busy to see you, just now!!She responds......Please tell me when I can bring it over....In fact Ms. Prude, I have a very nice gift just for you!!!You continue.......How do you respond to this rejection?......I'm not interested in buying anything!!!!As you explain the purpose of your call, she interrupts........You call her and introduce yourself!!......Ms. Gladis Prude!!Thumbing through the phone book, you find the name of a likely prospectHow will you get that bonus?to go to work!!!With this final word of caution, Willy leaves, and you are readymost sales.At the end of the month, a bonus is given to the salesman with the .....Also, they are your competition!!If I were you, I wouldn't even talk to the rotten pricks.emergency shit or something. They will actually steal your appointment!!....Let's say you have to put a customer on hold, while you take anbuddy fuckers!!!, watch these other guys. They are a bunch of.....Also .....A smooth operator can do pretty well!!a 10% commission of your sales.....This job pays the same as your old one, but you can also addAfter this, Willy adds......to last you all week.you figure you will be able to get enough appointments in one hourphone techniques. After a couple hours of this intensive training,Following this, Willy instructs you in the application of his bestday. This will cut down on traveling time and increase selling time......Try to make all appointments in the same part of town on the samefor demonstrations only......Remember, don't try to sell over the phone, make appointmentsto demonstrate our products in their homes or offices.peoples names out of the phone book, call them, and make appointments.....Instead of wearing out shoe leather knocking on doors, just pickbut the telephone is your most important tool. , here, you mostly push our products door to door,.....You see figure the job you had with that old geezer Attrics was kinda like sales......Look! I don't know how much experience you have in sales, but Ihow things work in local sales.Willy seats you at your desk, and starts giving you the rundown onwhat appears to be dozens of identical desks.own phone, is crammed into a small space in a large room along withWilly guides you to your new office. Your desk, complete with it's , I told you I would take care of you! Follow me!....Hi solely to local sales....the door opens....Willy is there to greet you!!You take the elevator up to the 4th floor, which is dedicated0Zz^"05:n|$).Q7EJO XVra}*8=D`q0Lhyd.3 1 E p u    A