is to influence his actions. If he begins to have doubts and fears about his's Public Self -- What  Tells The Worldpredictable behavior. Or even worse's Private Self -- What  Would Only Tell Dr. Shrinku want. Plan your persua's Deepest Emotions -- What  Hatesking him feel good about himself. Straigh's Deepest Emotions -- What  Lovesdoing things your way and seize every oppo's Top Secret Sex Fantasies -- What  will Denyn@making skills. Although X my not give in fully, he will at least feel at ease enough to listen to you ifHow To Make Friends With  worry over his inadequacies. PN5 When it seems as How To Influence verything to get X to do what you want, use a threat. But a J1$~7PB'<L?aPH!&"/6?PH!&"/6?PH!&"/6?PH!&"/6? PH!&"/6? PH!&"/6? PH!&"/6? PH!&"/6?O  cHave you ever known a person who didn't seem to care if other people liked  or who was unaffected by people's opinions of ?  meets that description. 's the sort of individual who isn't easily impressed by those around  and may be preoccupied with whatever project or task 's working on at the moment. 's a shrewd, calculating, no-nonsense person, who can be very productive but a bit too self-contained. is driven by a desire for excitement, no matter where  is or what 's doing. For example, on a long boring drive  may tease  companions just to stir up a little anger, or pretend to fall asleep at the wheel to give them a scare. At a ski resort  may seek out the steepest run or challenge someone to a race. Don't make the mistake of attempting to change . You won't be the first to try and nobody has succeeded so far.Of all the people you might meet, 's sarcasm leaves a lasting impression. 'll dissect anyone with  critical eye, and although often amusing,  can be quick to point out other's inadequacies, real or imagined.  rarely considers the impact that  commentaries may have upon others, and this insensitivity does little to enhance  popularity. When confronted with the fact that  sharp tongue has again offended,  response is likely to be "Well, I didn't mean it."'s public image demonstrates  toughness. Neither compliments nor criticisms affect  behavior, and this thick skin can often make  a difficult person to motivate. Whereas most people achieve in order to gain praise or avoid failure,  tends to feel insulted when prodded by such superficial goals.  does only those things that  really wants to do and few can influence  otherwise.  is not one to bend to the whims of others. tends to be unconcerned with how others perceive , and probably won't make any major concessions when interacting with the world.  lives on  own terms, often oblivious to those around .  deals with the public efficiently and only when necessary, to such a degree that others often consider  to be overly self-contained and unemotional.& j:bsA is excited by unique ideas and sometimes can get lost in deep concentration just exploring the new and unknown. When  is in one of these moods,  is likely to seem unapproachable. If you persist in disturbing ,  may tell you in no uncertain terms to leave  alone.  wants things done  way, and if  really wants something,  usually gets it.'s public image suggests that  is rarely satisfied with the conventional. If  can't find what  wants, 'll probably invent it.  is likely to be pursuing new ideas at all times.  intuition is sharp and  can easily figure out what is needed in a particular situation. Once  has a new direction,  initiative and drive make  almost unstoppable.  dislikes those who only have the courage to go halfway. is an intense individual whose public image is influenced more by ideas than by the people around . Be it an invention  is working on or a political maneuver at work, don't be surprised if  is not paying attention to the people around .  can only really concentrate on one thing at a time, and ideas usually interest  more than people. often becomes so involved in a project that  forgets to please others by presenting a likable, socially appropriate self. It's not that  is egocentric, but rather that  consciousness is likely to be engaged in exciting directions not always obvious to those around . Because of  imagination and cleverness, others usually allow   occasional quirks. can be the innovator who doesn't have the word "failure" in  lexicon.  enjoys being the first in whatever  does and is brimming with energy, ready to pioneer new paths for others to follow.  generally succeeds, regardless of the means  chooses to use.  is a self-assured go-getter of major proportions.n<In spite of  protestations to the contrary, 's darkest secret is that  occasional toughness and lack of responsiveness towards others is not a facade. Deep down inside  can be one of the most conniving individuals around, often plotting and scheming. But that's okay when it comes to  work, since being clever is what helps  get ahead. Although sometimes it can be a little trying in personal relationships.If you really get to know  well,  will probably confide that  has been close to trouble throughout  life. People like this tend to be thrill seekers who enjoy exciting activities.  is usually ready to take risks both at work and in  personal life. Whether it is working for a start-up company or dating someone who is married,  thrives on the challenge and the thrill of it all.Strange as it may seem, it is possible that  has few, if any, private thoughts beyond the set of tactics  needs to complete whatever project  is working on. Don't be fooled into believing that  has strong, deeply held ideals. If  claims that  does, it is more likely to be part of the current game  is playing. But  won't mind your asking, however, because that is just part of the fun. can deny it all  wants, but all you have to do is watch  carefully and you'll see that  has a hidden grudge against the world and intends to even the score. Verbal confrontations stimulate , and the more heated the better.  may argue with authorities, with friends, with  partner, and even with society's rules. All of this reflects a deep, inner sense of anger at the world.Underneath  occasional patient and calm surface behavior,  has a restless inner life.  finds it difficult to stay in one place or work on any one thing for long without getting impatient. If there's a job or a deal that demands perseverance over a period of time, count  out. Adopting a "wait and see" attitude is unheard of in 's book, as  advocates taking action now.f^4% _ can't stand dealing with the details of life, especially those that require close attention. 's a doer who doesn't want to be bothered with the trivial.  sees things as a whole, not as a collection of little pieces.  prefers to leave the minutiae for others to worry about. dislikes people who are overly friendly. This is especially true if they are the touchy-feely type. Although  may appear to tolerate them, behind their backs  is likely to try to discredit them in any way  can. doesn't like to ask for directions or advice.  prefers to find  own way in life, even if the road is a difficult one to follow. For , being the master of  own destiny is what makes life worth living. dislikes people who act like fools. In fact,  can't even stand being around them, fearing "guilt by association."  tends to pride on  expertise and dislikes anyone to insinuate that  might not be as great as  believes. despises the thought of really being understood and "seen through." So expect  to especially hate this -ray report.  will deny everything in it, chiefly the part about  sex life. 'll probably put Dr. Shrink down and tell you that the program is no good. But  will never tell you about  use of the program when you are not around.!z"q#%$u%_ loves throwing caution to the winds when it comes to gambling on something big.  snap decisions are likely to make most people's head spin.  shuns slow, cautious planning, preferring to go by instinct alone. loves a great idea and usually has at least a handful that 's working on simultaneously. 's the first to jump on the bandwagon for a get-rich-quick scheme and is usually one of the early supporters of a revolutionary way of doing something.Although 'll probably say  is being honest,  loves to make sarcastic, teasing remarks to others.  gets a kick out of seeing people squirm and is verbally gifted enough to say just what it takes.  may seem to have a "chip on  shoulder", and making such remarks is how  shows it. loves to delegate tasks to others.  would adore a world in which  thought up all the new ideas and turned them over to others for implementation. In such a scenario,  would be king and everyone else, happy slaves. is thrilled when one of  complicated and clever schemes works out the way  planned. It is true that  also loves thinking through the scheme in the first place, but  gets a special kick out of watching the successful unfolding of a plan.  prides on being able to come out ahead of anyone, given the proper resources and training.&'(*>X+v,-=NOTE: In some cases these fantasies will not be conscious to  or evident to those around . This restricted fantasy pattern is apt to exist when either  partner or  environment is overly inhibited. In these cases the fantasy may only be elucidated under hypnosis or sodium pentathol.WARNING: Dr. Shrink is perfectly aware that both the rater and the ratee will probably disagree with this section of the report. In similar situations most people "say" that this section is wrong. Remember, however, that the doctor is an excellent clinician who has no reason to lie. Many inhibited raters and ratees do have reason to deny this type of fantasy. Sometimes you can tell whether they are being honest by checking carefully for blushing, an unusual speech pattern, or by a change in breathing.WARNING: The following analysis should be viewed with caution in those extreme cases where the rater has adopted an alternate sexual lifestyle or where  is unusually repressed in  thinking about sex. In these cases the rater will say that Dr. Shrink is wrong.  will never admit that  is just a lousy rater.CAUTION: Do not read the following section unless you are a mature and open-minded adult. Dr. Shrink learned many years ago that people who are not psychologically minded reject any analytic statement about sex that is outside the bounds of traditional, conservative thinking. So they will naturally reject the following interpretation and tell the world that it is false.WARNING: The following section contains sexually explicit material that offends many people. Please read no further if you fall into this group. Dr. Shrink has found that such people defend themselves psychologically by denying the accuracy of any personal statement about sex.WARNING: Uptight people always deny the accuracy of any statement about sex. Sex causes them great anxiety. This leads them to bad-mouth the good doctor's report by saying that it is not accurate. If you are uptight sexually, don't read the following material. We will all be happier. Nobody wants to hear a denier.@/02N354Adventure is a recurring theme in many of 's fantasies.  is excited by the novel and the out of the ordinary.  may restlessly search out new experiences and relationships until  finds the fireworks that  is looking for.  tends to fantasize about having sex in numerous and odd positions and giving  lover a thorough aerobic workout. Anything you can do to put some zip into the relationship will be fine with .Behind  seemingly straight exterior lies a free-spirited, uninhibited individual. "Puritanical" is not a word that characterizes .  behavior is seldom affected by moral or religious constraints. In  struggle against that loathsome feeling of boredom,  is eclectic in  approach to lovemaking. If you are looking for a constant and stable lover, look the other way, because constancy is not 's strong suit. can't understand it when  lover isn't in the same mood as  is--how could anyone not be ready for or interested in sex? Empathy, whether in or out of bed, is not one of 's stronger points.  may even lack an intuitive sense for  partners' sexual needs and may be totally in the dark when it comes to their deeper feelings.It is likely that many of 's lovers have felt like sex objects. Few have had what could be called a close emotional relationship with , because  is not inclined to seek out intimacy in  relationships.  goes through the motions of making love competently, but without much tenderness.  can have a cruel side to  lovemaking, and if  partner doesn't respond the way her wants,  may not be above getting up and walking out.'s secret fantasy is to have sex with members of diverse ethnic and socio-economic groups.  dreams of the unique turn-ons that  imagines partners of various racial backgrounds can give . In general,  seeks an active bedmate who is willing to go along with  love of fantasy and experimentation.68[;3=The best way to make friends with  is to find a way to work with , either on the job, in a hobby, or in a household task. Talk to  about what you're doing while you are working with . Then focus your future conversations on the experiences that the two of you shared. You'll have to be tolerant of  need to be by and to get lost in  own thoughts. During such times,  may be virtually unapproachable, and you will have to be content sitting or standing next to .You will need to enjoy taking part in risky situations that can range from scuba diving to flying to starting up new companies in order to become a friend of 's. And through it all you should be prepared for  sarcasm, as well as  teasing and unconventional views about things. You'll have to learn to let unkind words roll off your back if you want to be  friend, because attempts to change these behaviors are likely to be met with stiff resistance. Never argue over something  has said that hurts your feeling.  will simply write you off as not worth spending time with. You make a friend out of  by going along with .Get involved in the same work or hobby as  to make friends with . Keep your conversations with  focused on interesting topics. Express your gratitude to  for the advice  inevitably offers, as  loves being thought of as an expert. Whenever possible, bring up your interest in travel or adventure. Many individuals like  have a strong interest in recreational sports. Find out which one in particular strikes  fancy and build a relationship around it.The main difficulty in making friends with  is that  may not seem to need friends.  life is just fine as it is, full of interesting things and activities. Keep in mind that  attention is caught by whatever is exciting and new. Hence, don't approach  looking dispirited or preoccupied. You'll have to be "up" to engage  and you'll have to find out what has currently captured  imagination. Warning: don't "fake it" because  can see through phoniness in an instant.9? A D6F,bHz"New", and "different" and "exciting" are all words that appeal to . Quite the reverse is true for terms such as "traditional", "reliable", "thrifty", and "common". Make sure to keep in mind  need for excitement when attempting to influence . Also, remember that people like  are often more interested in the correctness of a product or an idea than they are in either its current utility or popularity. They have an inner need to be right above all else.The most important techniques for persuading  revolve around  strong interest in ideas as opposed to people and  tendency to think and act very quickly.  is likely to jump at any argument that is based on scarcity. For example, if you mention "This is the last convertible that BMW is ever going to make AND the last one we are ever going to get",  will beg to buy. Or if you highlight that this is a one-time-only opportunity that  must act on now or forget about it forever, 'll probably sign any contract. Equally effective would be something to the effect of "The sale is over at 5 pm tonight and come tomorrow you'll have to pay $200 more." Your arguments carry more weight if they are unexpected and there is a time deadline pressing  to act in a hurry. is most responsive to arguments that involve exploiting the foibles of the undesired choice, so feel free to be humorous and sarcastic when you talk about alternatives that you are opposed to. Subtly mention how such choices would make  look foolish or unintelligent in the eyes of the world. Clearly point out how going along with your wishes serves  personal interest in a way that is especially enticing to . Gloss over or don't even bring up the benefits that you will get.  is not interested in being a humanitarian. is ripe for techniques based on the "last chance" angle. For example, tell  that you have only one more of these special chairs in stock or that you only have time on Tuesday to have lunch with  and you'll have  hooked. If you get  really excited about the do-or-die nature of this decision,  may, on occasion, even beg to do your bidding. For example, if you tell  that you just sold the last one you had when  inquiries about a product,  is likely to demand that you check the warehouse to see if you have overlooked any. will want to know what respected independent evaluators think about the subject or course of action that you are proposing. People like  are more swayed by a positive review in Consumer Reports than the opinions of their friends and neighbors. For them it is the correctness of an idea that counts and not its popularity. In order to persuade , point out any independent laboratories, research groups or associations that have endorsed your position. If no such endorsement exists, make up some independent panel, and assert that although they are not a well-known group, they wholeheartedly support your position.\L]fUkqyـ`\L]fUkqyـ`\L]fUkqyـ`\L]fUkqyـ`U]fUkqyـ`U]fUkqyـ`U]fUkqyـ`U]fUkqyـ`zLlNMPRS has given  public image some serious thought, as  is acutely people-oriented. In fact,  can often be heard saying "Let's get some people together and..." Often seeking an audience wherever  goes, your initial impression of  would be that of a carefree, easy-going person who likes to have an influence in most conversations. Telling jokes, playing Charades or Monopoly, or being involved in any other activity with  friends is where  can be found, enjoying every social minute.There is an appealing fire in 's public image.  enjoys having a good time and wishes that life could be all fun and games. Any time you want to get a party together, count on  to come prepared. But get  to check that date book early because  may already be spoken for!  is outgoing, talkative, and liked by everyone but the most prudish matrons who don't approve of some of  jokes or  flamboyant style. And  charisma is probably winning them over as well!Few people can look the other way when  walks into the room.  has a physical presence about  that turns many a head. If  clothing doesn't attract attention,  expansive mannerisms or contagious laugh certainly will. You may not always like , but you'll always be impressed when  makes one of  grand entrances. One can't help but notice how much  seems to enjoy life, and  influence at any occasion is bound to be exciting. is the sort of person who might carry an appointment book around with  that is crammed with engagements.  would be unhappy if  forgot a birthday party, anniversary celebration, or other such social occasion. Even if  is not sponsoring the event,  can't help but act like the perpetual host. Reunions of any kind, be they high school or family, really get  excited. And in general,  is a delightful guest who can single-handedly make an event a success. is likely to be surrounded by a group of supportive actors who are more than willing to cast  in the starring role. To really see this person sparkle, watch  under the influence of an audience.  has a effervescent social personality and tends to look somewhat lost if left outside the hub of activity.  appetite for excitement is large, and if  can't find entertainment, 'll probably create it.U-WzXZu\Almost everyone who meets  for the first time would agree that  is very enjoyable to talk with.  can be interesting with a capital I, as long as the topic isn't too esoteric.  likes to keep things moving and does so by thinking quickly on  feet. This is the sort of person who can go to a party where  knows no one and leave with ten new friends and a handful of phone numbers. is the consummate politician.  enjoys being around people, appears friendly, and strikes others as being quite perceptive.  loves to be in the limelight as a leader and organizer.  is an outgoing individual who truly shines when participating and directing various social activities.  rarely stands still and would become restless and frustrated if forced to do so.It is easy to single out  in a room full of people.  is usually standing up, walking from group to group and talking with everyone. In fact, if there were no one to listen to  (unthinkable!),  may even locate the nearest phone with unerring instinct.  is the sort of person who develops relationships with the mailman, dry cleaners, school crossing guard, bagger at the grocery store, gas station manger, and so on.  list of associates is endless,  business card collection ever-growing.'s public image reflects the fact that  really enjoys people.  can be a fun person to accompany you to the beach, a movie, even to dinner, as long as things are generally kept light and breezy.  may surprise you with some uncannily perceptive remarks about others.  has well-developed powers of observation and can be deadly accurate when  takes the time to be.You will readily notice  displaying  well-developed social skills.  manners and sense of social propriety far surpass those of most people.  knows what to say to smooth out awkward moments and is adept at filling in uncomfortable silences.  can easily think of thought-provoking questions that keep  conversation sparkling and  listeners on their toes.  instinctively knows how to use  razor-sharp wit to achieve just the right effect.^_wRa#ubFdAt the heart of 's private self is the hidden desire to be the most popular person around. But although a touch of narcissism is healthy, with  things may occasionally get out of hand. Of course, everyone likes it when  comes up with a new story, but on occasion some people find themselves wishing  would stop talking and start listening. Try to tell  this and you are likely to see  dander rise.  may even lose  temper if  is feeling too threatened.'s private self mirrors  public image. Often when by ,  thinks about other people and how  might best relate to them. Although the persona  presents to the world can be business-like and serious, underneath  has a huge, tender, and lovingly egotistical heart.  need for affection motivates much of  behavior. But  is certainly one to enjoy life.Underneath 's friendly exterior lies a friendly private self. Here is an individual who truly enjoys human contact. Few can imagine the extent to which having friends and socializing is important to . And not just one friend! People like  need lots of friends to keep them satisfied.Have you ever wondered who signs up for those courses about winning friends and influencing people? It's folks like . 's secretly interested in refining  communication skills and may even memorize the punch lines in joke books so  can repeat them verbatim to  friends.  can become so wrapped up with others that  may have very little inner self to call  own. One thing is for sure.  does have an engaging personality and can spin a good yarn. has a hidden humanitarian streak and may think about joining clubs and organizations that help the less fortunate.  looks forward to working with groups of people, whether 's arranging a fund raiser for children or a benefit for the community at large.  is especially conscious of the needs of  immediate neighborhood. Even if  is not directly involved with a charitable organization, you can count on  to contribute in some way when it's donation time.vvwx=NOTE: In some cases these fantasies will not be conscious to  or evident to those around . This restricted fantasy pattern is apt to exist when either  partner or  environment is overly inhibited. In these cases the fantasy may only be elucidated under hypnosis or sodium pentathol.WARNING: Dr. Shrink is perfectly aware that both the rater and the ratee will probably disagree with this section of the report. In similar situations most people "say" that this section is wrong. Remember, however, that the doctor is an excellent clinician who has no reason to lie. Many inhibited raters and ratees do have reason to deny this type of fantasy. Sometimes you can tell whether they are being honest by checking carefully for blushing, an unusual speech pattern, or by a change in breathing.WARNING: The following analysis should be viewed with caution in those extreme cases where the rater has adopted an alternate sexual lifestyle or where  is unusually repressed in  thinking about sex. In these cases the rater will say that Dr. Shrink is wrong.  will never admit that  is just a lousy rater.CAUTION: Do not read the following section unless you are a mature and open-minded adult. Dr. Shrink learned many years ago that people who are not psychologically minded reject any analytic statement about sex that is outside the bounds of traditional, conservative thinking. So they will naturally reject the following interpretation and tell the world that it is false.WARNING: The following section contains sexually explicit material that offends many people. Please read no further if you fall into this group. Dr. Shrink has found that such people defend themselves psychologically by denying the accuracy of any personal statement about sex.WARNING: Uptight people always deny the accuracy of any statement about sex. Sex causes them great anxiety. This leads them to bad-mouth the good doctor's report by saying that it is not accurate. If you are uptight sexually, don't read the following material. We will all be happier. Nobody wants to hear a denier.y{:|d ~6 fantasizes about exhibitionistic games in which  projects an image of as a sex maniac. 's an incorrigible flirt and would probably entertain the thought of sexually coming on to nearly everyone  meets. The illusion of sexual conquest is very important to . Underneath, however,  may be all talk and no action, and if pressed to put up or shut up,  may run and hide.'s secret fantasy just may be to have the starring role in an X-rated movie that earns critical acclaim. In this movie,  is the center of all the action and everyone else jumps to  every command. Related to this fantasy is one in which  goes to a nudist camp and is elected to the position of camp leader. is the kind of person who may fantasize about a wide variety of sexual partners. 's very charming and can talk  way into almost anyone's heart.  turns off, however, when it comes time to make emotional commitments.  may talk about the pros and cons of a long-lasting relationship at great length, but the outcome is still the same: avoidance.Tell  "you're the best I've ever had," and you just may have  eating out of your hand. Whether it's true or false,  thrills to having  sexual prowess complimented. For all  sophisticated talk and expertise, however, what  really wants is for  lover to turn the tables on  and do the chasing. Secretly  desires to be wooed, swept off  feet, and taken by storm. may secretly dream of sexual partners who are somewhat plain or unremarkable, but physically well-endowed.  ideal is a partner  can readily dominate, but who has an attractive body.  doesn't want to share  pedestal or the adoration others give  with a bedmate: one star in bed is quite enough.ւ ߄AjMaking friends with  on a surface level should come easily.  likes people and prides on having lots of friends. However, most of  friendships are very casual and loose. To develop a closer relationship with , more effort is likely to be required. You will need to stick close to  hour after hour and day after day as  wanders about checking in with  numerous friends.  will probably welcome you as a sidekick as long as you can keep up with .Being close to  will require a good deal of tolerance for  calling, talking to, visiting with and entertaining others. You are likely to find yourself waiting for  to finish a phone call or an important conversation. And you may never spend another holiday or weekend alone again, as  needs to be surrounded by others to be happy. Make sure this is the kind of friendship you want before getting involved. If it is, then go along with , laugh at  jokes, and be patient. Friendship is likely to follow.Making friends with  is easier than you are likely to imagine. Usually it takes no more than the ability to get yourself in the right place at the right time. If you fit in with  circle of friends and are willing to be as socially active as  is, then 'll probably take over the task for you, as  really enjoys the process of making friends. Things will go even better if you are willing to listen more than talk and can keep discussions on the lighter side. is the sort of person whom you can easily strike up a conversation with in almost any place that the two of you find yourselves together. If you are in line at a grocery store, in a movie theater, or at a restaurant, the person most likely to start talking with you will be an individual like . Simply saying "Boy this place is busy" or "This line is moving so slowly" will get  talking. After a few minutes of chit-chat, ask  to join you afterwards.  is usually ready to meet new friends and would be delighted to add you to  ever-growing list of companions.You can become 's friend very quickly by simply buttering  up. Straightforwardly, go up to  and praise . Admire  clothing,  car,  funny friends--nothing is too remote to give  a compliment on it. And don't worry about laying it on too thick. Even if  does blush or ask you to stop, underneath  is probably lapping up every syllable.~< is relatively easy to persuade if your proposition is conventional and popular, and if  is aware that it is. If  isn't, you will have to let  know about it before you can successfully persuade . Anything that can be shown to bring greater personal popularity and social acceptance should work like a charm when it comes to influencing . Another good approach with this kind of person involves positioning your proposal as stimulating. If there are any aspects of the decision that could invigorate or even wake up , be sure to highlight them. For example, you might say that the car you are trying to sell  is exciting to drive, or that a new pair of shoes energizes its wearer.The most painless way to persuade  is to present your ideas in a way that shows how going along with you will make  more popular or better liked by those around . Downplay any aspects that might suggest being alone or going against the will of  friends. Use phrases like "most popular model" and "people seem to like it best." Don't stress that it is for the unique individual or the person with "special tastes." Describe any features that could be used to facilitate relationships with others such as "a great conversation piece" or "blondes have more fun" or even "you really get to meet some great people at the users groups meetings." Present yourself as friendly, open, and folksy, but never as aloof or exclusive. is most easily persuaded by someone  knows and likes. If you don't know  well or particularily like , it is crucial that you present yourself as at least similar in appearance and dress. People such as  want to do what others around them are doing, so phrases like "best selling" or "voted favorite" or "leading in the polls" are very important to their decision making. Similarly, choices that you are trying to guide  away from should be subtly disparaged with words like "unpopular" and "disliked."Individuals like  want love and respect from other people more than anything else. Therefore, imply that agreeing with you will lead to greater popularity for . In general, any action that you want  to take should be something that will make other people like . For example, you might say "Deciding to join the club was best decision I could possibly have made. My social life has improved so much that I'm hardly ever at home any more."One good technique for influencing  plays on  tendency to be easily swayed by attractive people and by those whom  likes. If you don't or can't fill this bill, find someone else who can to do the persuading for you. Make sure it's someone that you and  can both trust, because you will have to give this third person some real power. To really make it hard for  to refuse your offer, use two or three people that  likes.-]Qz-]Qz-]Qz-]Qz-]Qz-]Qz-]Qz-]Qz0uUWhen in a group of unfamiliar people,  tries to be as invisible as possible. Most view  as a shy and quiet sort of character.  won't be hanging out at parties or participating in team sports, because excitement is just not  thing.  has no interest in trivial joking or social chit chat, but that's not to say that  doesn't have friends. At least one person in  world probably fits the bill of being truly "close." is a quiet sort of person who goes about the daily tasks of living without stopping for social conversation. If  must talk,  focuses on the task  is presently working on, because not much else strikes  as pertinent. Too much social chatter can cause  to become upset and to withdraw from those around . Others recognize this and usually leave  alone.You won't notice  aggressively competing with others for rewards. Rivalry is not  thing, because the stress that competition causes is enough to stop  from pressing forward.  prefers to follow  own inclinations and remain in  secret world. You may try forcing  to struggle with the requirements of social interaction, but don't be surprised if you only succeed in turning  further inward.  prefers to think and dream all by .The core of 's public image is modesty.  would never boast about  achievements or seek flattery from others.  values  privacy and is selective with whom  interacts, often withdrawing from view if  feels pressured to entertain others. Where does  disappear to? 's probably off working quietly on  own turf,  hideaway where intrusions and interactions are minimized and only  own rules hold.If you've ever worked closely with , you've undoubtedly rubbed up against  perfectionistic, detail-oriented streak.  can be so concerned for detail that  drives other people crazy.  may even check and double check, insisting that everything be just so. It's almost as if  can't let go of a task once it is begun. Although  is generally fair-minded,  can become very critical of those around  when they seem to be cutting corners just to get things done.lLYou'll often find  wrapped up in a favorite task or project. The classic introvert, most of the time it's hard to even track  down. One thing is certain.  likes to pursue  own interests instead of spending time with people  doesn't know. When talking with , you can't help but notice that  takes what you say seriously and literally.  tends to analyze every aspect of a problem, contemplating its smallest detail.'s public life is well organized and  approaches most tasks with an orderly and controlled manner.  enjoys using  powers of logic and enforces upon a code of self-discipline. You may occasionally see  become frustrated when trying to grasp the seemingly confused thinking of others.  may first attempt to redo everything on  terms, and only then consider alternatives. is the kind of person who may attain a moderately high social level because  is smart and works hard. This is in spite of the fact that  keeps  distance from those around , may not bother with the contemporary standards of dress, and appears to enjoy being alone. People tend to think that this type of person might possibly be a great friend, if they could only break through  surface armor. can be the consummate problem solver. In fact, when you first meet , you might notice the intent look on  face, a look that proves to be a telltale sign of  inner preoccupation. Give  a mystery and you hook  intellectual curiosity for hours. Whether it is a mind bending crossword puzzle, Rubik's Cube, or a who-done-it murder novel,  is in  element.  has a knack for teasing out concrete facts from seeming obscurity.Those interacting with  might characterize  as appearing preoccupied. Solitude is  inspiration, and  feels the most productive and creative when left alone. Group activities are considered to be rather droll and intellectually stifling, and  would rather avoid such unnecessary social preambles, wanting just the facts. Save the jokes for someone else, because  simply is not interested. Yet  can be surprisingly sociable when  feels secure among close friends.K6x\ zThere are many things you might not know about  by just extrapolating from  public image. Although  appears unemotional and unwilling to disclose anything about , behind this defensive exterior lies a sincere individual.  high ethical standards would serve any Supreme Court Justice well, as  would rarely give in on a matter of principle. Even though  may seem somewhat stubborn,  is usually willing to listen and give due consideration to the viewpoints of others.Hidden way down inside of  tends to be an uneasy feeling of disillusionment.  may have experienced disappointment at the hands of people  once admired. Social activities that are considered by most to be entertaining rarely interest , and casual conversations that others find important leave  dissatisfied.  has a pessimistic side that  hides from others.Many people who know  fail to really understand  private self. Underneath it all,  is far more keyed-up than most people would imagine.  tends to keep to and stay busy with very structured tasks to ward off unnecessary stress.  is not just "doing  own thing".  is trying to keep environmental stress at a manageable level.Few people know what private thoughts lie deep within 's mind. Individuals like  sometimes feel anger towards others, an emotion that they store up and keep hidden from even their own consciousness. Because of this,  may hesitate to look carefully into the depths of  self, almost as though  fears opening  Pandora's Box. Don't be surprised if  denies this anger. And if you are a high wire trapeze artist, think twice before asking  to be your spotter.The words that  lives by are simple: be slow but steady. This explains  capacity to work away at a task, persisting in the face of obstacles and tackling even the smallest details.  concentration can be astounding, and 's the type to say, "So what if it takes all night?"  tends to be motivated by some elusive goal unknown to those who are not privy to  secrets.{rZZ/" dislikes surprises or anything that happens on the spur of the moment.  loses some of  self-confidence when forced to handle spontaneity. Many adventures that other people find stimulating may be too unpredictable for  to fully enjoy. dislikes the noise and hustle-bustle of everyday living, wishing instead that  could return to a time when life was simpler.  prefers to be surrounded by the familiar and permanent and is wary of that which is new or untried. secretly dislikes spending time with people whom  does not know well.  ideal vacation spots probably include remote desert islands, mountains, and just about any place where  can be undisturbed, without others infringing on  sense of privacy. dislikes idle chitchat.  believes that there are only a few things in life worth talking about, and the foibles of others is not one of them. In general, the less said, the better, regardless of the topic. probably hates to be asked to give a speech in front of a crowd.  isn't very socially skilled and feels uncomfortable presenting  ideas to others in a public setting.  finds it difficult to overcome  inhibitions and be outspoken when what  says is being evaluated by others.oL ln  appears to love routine. A nine-to-five schedule is just what  counts on. Being in the same place, with the same people, doing roughly the same sorts of things--that's what keeps  on an even and comfortable keel. loves careful planning and does  best to keep things simple.  likes to work on the carefully spelled out details of a task, from start to finish. If directions are missing,  is glad to impose  own organization. When it comes to getting a job done,  can be very methodical. loves to be perceived as a perfectionist and may even spend hours on minute details.  tends to be competent at whatever  does, even if it takes  a long time to achieve the end goal.  cautious personality requires that  filter things carefully before taking any action. loves to privately gloat when  is able to prove other people wrong. Due to  outward appearance of modesty, most people are surprised to discover this. Few are aware of the high regard that people like  hold themselves in. loves subtle recognition for  achievements. No fireworks, parades or announcements are necessary for  to feel proud, and in fact, such displays might send  into hiding. Being pulled aside for a few quiet words of praise is usually all the reward  needs.'Ż>vt=NOTE: In some cases these fantasies will not be conscious to  or evident to those around . This restricted fantasy pattern is apt to exist when either  partner or  environment is overly inhibited. In these cases the fantasy may only be elucidated under hypnosis or sodium pentathol.WARNING: Dr. Shrink is perfectly aware that both the rater and the ratee will probably disagree with this section of the report. In similar situations most people "say" that this section is wrong. Remember, however, that the doctor is an excellent clinician who has no reason to lie. Many inhibited raters and ratees do have reason to deny this type of fantasy. Sometimes you can tell whether they are being honest by checking carefully for blushing, an unusual speech pattern, or by a change in breathing.WARNING: The following analysis should be viewed with caution in those extreme cases where the rater has adopted an alternate sexual lifestyle or where  is unusually repressed in  thinking about sex. In these cases the rater will say that Dr. Shrink is wrong.  will never admit that  is just a lousy rater.CAUTION: Do not read the following section unless you are a mature and open-minded adult. Dr. Shrink learned many years ago that people who are not psychologically minded reject any analytic statement about sex that is outside the bounds of traditional, conservative thinking. So they will naturally reject the following interpretation and tell the world that it is false.WARNING: The following section contains sexually explicit material that offends many people. Please read no further if you fall into this group. Dr. Shrink has found that such people defend themselves psychologically by denying the accuracy of any personal statement about sex.WARNING: Uptight people always deny the accuracy of any statement about sex. Sex causes them great anxiety. This leads them to bad-mouth the good doctor's report by saying that it is not accurate. If you are uptight sexually, don't read the following material. We will all be happier. Nobody wants to hear a denier.R8k*8b~ tends to be turned off by anything too weird.  sexual fantasies are limited, and  prefers straight, traditional turn-ons.  is basically a shy, easily-embarrassed sexual partner who probably believes that sex is something that one does only in bed, in a dark room, in the most conventional way, and with someone you are close to. is a person whom others would love to have a sexual relationship with if they could only break through the shell of silence that surrounds .  is very difficult to get to know, much less get into bed.  favorite sexual partner tends to be . Although  would be horrified to admit it,  may prefer masturbation to facing the realities of a sexual relationship with someone.Even though  would deny it vehemently and  appearance might suggest otherwise,  has fantasies about causing  partner pain. But it wouldn't be severe pain. Maybe 'd chew garlic and then breathe heavily, or work at a dirty job and then get physically close. The idea of causing  lover discomfort during sex has an appeal that  just can't explain. tends to have difficulty expressing anger, and  may use sex as a weapon.  might withhold sex with  lover to get even. In a social situation  might turn cold and withdraw.  tends to be pessimistic about relationships in general, so when things go wrong,  would probably just as soon give up anyway. is probably not the sort of person who fantasizes about overindulging in sex. Lovemaking is most likely not high on  list of priorities because  is so involved with other things in life. Since  tends to prefer mental stimulation to physical arousal, it can take a lot to get  into the mood for love. Even then,  performance may well be rushed and  mind elsewhere.MK X bOMaking friends with  is apt to be difficult, as  is likely to have a strong distrust of others that masks a deeply hidden anger at people in general. It is thus important that  perceive you as honest and upstanding. Individuals such as  structure their lives so that they live and work in relative isolation, and even their recreational activities may be done alone. As a result, it can be difficult to find common ground for starting a friendship. You will have to do some detective work to find out the places that  frequents, and then try to fit into this part of  world.If you are able to strike up an acquaintance with , don't be surprised to find out that  prefers staying at home to going out. In fact,  is likely to have a wide range of activities that  does within the confines of four walls. Expect that  will easily become suspicious of you, especially if you socialize a lot or urge  to go out. However, if you can accept  solitary ways and don't try to change , you will find  has a very interesting view of the world that makes for enjoyable time spent together. will be more difficult than most to make friends with. Individuals like  have a built-in distrust of others that keeps them from being readily open to new friendships. The way around this problem is to gain  trust over a period of time by working along side  without placing any social demands on . Respect  need for privacy and desire to be left alone. Do not talk too much or too forcefully in conversations with . Let the relationship mature over time without any evident pressure on your part.You have no small task ahead of you if you plan to make friends with .  is not a talker and has no intention of becoming one. If  has family or accessible friends, start by getting to know them first. Once you are accepted by those who have achieved some degree of closeness with , then  is more likely to accept you also.Strike up a conversation on some esoteric topic when you see  at the local library, computer store, or coffeehouse. You'll know that you've picked the wrong topic if all you get for a response is a nod of the head. But don't be discouraged. Try to glance over  shoulder, without being nosey, and see what  happens to be reading. Chances are strong that some technical subject will have  attention. Get into whatever  is into, whether it is quantum physics or 17th century Scottish poetry.WPersuade  by describing how your proposed action will lead to greater safety and freedom from external interruption for . For example, to convince a young person of this type to clean  room, tell  that you will not leave  alone until  finishes the job. A touch of fear is also useful with such people. For example, consider saying "You never know what could happen if you..." If that doesn't work, try a subtle threat such as "You could be very sorry." The potential of trouble hanging over  head should get  to act.A surprisingly easy way to persuade  is to make  a promise that  can't refuse. Money, a gift, or a simple agreement to "scratch  back" in return for a favor is likely to work just fine. This little technique, one that has so long been used with distinction in the Third World, is currently out of favor in the United States. However,  is particularly susceptible to it. Always keep your approach simple when trying to get  to do what you want.The best approach to persuading  may seem counter-intuitive to many. It requires a low-key, step-by-step program with little excitement or hoopla, and absolutely no pressure to respond. Basically, you need to present your proposal in a way that clearly demonstrates what is in it for . You needn't worry whether or not it's a popular concept as long as it satisfies  wants. In fact, it is probably even better if it is not favored by most people, because  likes to see as individualistic and separate from the common crowd.Influencing  may require a carefully developed plan. Getting  involved a little at a time works best, as staying on track is usually one of  most important internal goals. If you can get  to make even the smallest initial commitment in the right direction, then you are at least half way to success. For example, if you wish to persuade  to join a new religion, begin by getting  to attend a meeting with you. Next give  a book to read on the subject. Then institute a plan to casually discuss aspects of the new religion whenever relevant. While following this carefully laid out path to conversion, never once mention the possibility of  joining or not joining. In fact, avoid mentioning decisions like this. Over time  is apt to see  consistent behavior as reflecting a commitment  has made.  will probably shift  thinking to the point where, in this example, converting to the new religion seems to be the natural thing to do.Your goal in persuading this kind of person is to turn one of  ideas or actions into something that is consistent with  previous behavior and appropriate to  self-interest. Therefore, it is important that you subtly point out any aspects of the action or its aftereffects that are rewarding to  alone. Remember! People such as this are likely to be angry at those around them at a deep level, even though they aren't consciously aware of it. So things that reward others do just the opposite of what you want for them. Their goals most often have to do with themselves and no one else.m >j!m >j!m >j!m >j! >j! >j! >j! >j!bEwThe face  presents to the world is not likely to be  real face. Most of  time is spent in hiding who  is and preventing from coming loose at the seams.  often feels uptight and only relaxes when alone or with close friends who have earned  trust.  is extremely sensitive and tends to rely too heavily on  heart to guide .People are likely to see  as a quiet, hard working individual who excels in structured situations where a step-by-step approach is required.  is the kind of person who takes great pleasure in getting good gas mileage or finding especially low prices at the grocery store. Although in  youth  may have resisted the thought,  easily adopts the goal of having two cars, two kids and a two car garage house in the suburbs.You won't see  standing in line to buy the latest or the most innovative technology, as  doesn't particularly like or search out change in  environment.  is most comfortable with what  knows and can be downright suspicious about anything labeled "new and improved."  is the sort of person who'd rather quit  job than be forced to relocate to a strange town.  can be overly cautious when it comes to accepting new procedures or policies and perpetually wonders why life can't remain the same.When you first meet , you might come away with the impression that  is a snob. On the surface  cool face may suggest that  is only concerned with appearances. But contrary to first impressions, this is not the case at all. Rather,  is forever trying to contain the anxiety  feels when meeting new people.  aloofness is not meant to offend and is really nothing more than  fear of revealing to others.Do not be deceived by  face of equanimity. With , what you see is more for public consumption than you may suspect. For , interacting with anyone demands a strong, impenetrable image, which  has constructed in an effort to effectively cope with the world. You may occasionally see  mask slip as  walks around with a furrowed brow and a look of consternation.1) Anxiety is one trait that  tries to keep from influencing  public image. When  is not feeling overly self-conscious,  can be helpful and selfless to a fault, often putting other's needs before  own.  is the ultimate sentimentalist and remembers things long after others have forgotten them.'s approach to life probably gives  the appearance of being an intellectual and a liberal.  may even dress, act and live much like a tenured university professor. If  can't afford  dream car,  will probably rave about the superior reliability of  mini-van or Japanese sedan. In either case, count on  as the resident expert on local wines and other such refined avocations.When you first notice ,  may be in deep conversation with someone. But if you look closely, it's likely that 's mostly listening. Friends often seek  out when they have a problem, as  has a sympathetic ear and can be very understanding when it comes to hearing about other's dark secrets and anxieties. But don't expect  to share .  tries to keep  many fears under control.Few people see the real  behind  public image, because  emotional depths are difficult to fathom.  is innately creative and talented but self-conscious to the point of keeping quiet when  could be making an important contribution.  often evaluates and edits what  is going to say long before it comes out of  mouth. But unfortunately,  tends to be hyper-critical and usually rejects  ideas prematurely, even ideas that others might consider brilliant.At times  tends to have somewhat of a studious appearance about .  may, in fact, be the professional student, taking courses and earning degrees until 's chalked up numerous credentials.  enjoys quietly studying and tends to be quite successful as long as  can avoid situations where  has to publicly demonstrate  knowledge. Most teachers like  and enjoy reading  reports and papers. If only the academic world needed more scholars!The only way you could guess that  is the quintessential worrier would be to notice the worry lines on  face. Oddly enough, the very anxiety that agitates  also motivates  to strive for and attain perfection. Most people are surprised by how much  can accomplish, even though  may appear to be plodding along at a snail's pace. When others give up in frustration,  takes the opportunity to shine.  persistence and determination allow  to leave the more impulsive, undisciplined people in the dust.TTop honors for "Hiding Behind a Public Image" go to , but that surface calm masks the anxiety  frequently feels. If  could only let be seen by others,  basic warmth and empathy would immediately win  friends. But this is very hard for  to do.  doesn't want to take the chance that  might be rejected or humiliated, and  solution is to send out the neon "Stay Away" message. Secretly,  is afraid of others and dreads the repetition of the hurt and rejection that  has experienced in the past.Even though it might appear to the contrary,  wears  heart on  sleeve.  tries to hide this inner vulnerability, but a perceptive person can see the chinks in  armor.  sometimes becomes so taken with certain people that  thinks about them to the exclusion of everyone and everything else. When it comes to affairs of the heart,  may even lavish  emotions on a person whose hidden goal is to take advantage of  kindness.Worry and concern are the key elements dictating the workings of 's inner self, and  frequently is bothered by the threat of danger looming on  horizon. Usually there's more than one person, place, or thing 's concerned about at any given time. In fact, if you notice  acting secretive or falling silent, you might ask  just what 's worrying about now. But be ready to spend some time listening, because if 's willing to share, it could be a long list.'s private self tends to be plagued with doubt. There are times when  goes to sleep at night and wakes up in the morning to a moving stream of fears. When something bad is actually happening in  life,  is likely to become especially ruminative, turning all  thoughts inward. During these episodes,  isn't likely to be able to handle things in the real world. These periods of helplessness usually lead to even more anxiety. is more in touch with  private self than probably anyone you'll ever meet. It's almost as if  had an internal thermometer and were forever taking  temperature. Because  knows exactly what lurks way down deep in  psyche,  has developed elaborate strategies to keep those skeletons well hidden in  closet.  plight in life, however, is that  can never quite keep down all  demons, regardless of how much  tries.+J!k9I dislikes making decisions, usually preferring instead that others make any important choices for .  tends to modestly defer to the wishes of others, rather than speaking up for  own needs. In this way  frees from any blame if a decision has unpleasant consequences. hates disappointments, although they generally follow  whereever  travels. Life rarely seems to go well enough for . Because of  tendency to have distorted perceptions of people and events,  frequently feels the disappointment that comes with unfulfilled expectations. hates to be around people who are unhappy.  may even take responsibility for the negative emotions of others. Typically  is willing to go to great lengths to diffuse an emotionally charged situation. may really hate facing anything new, but for good reason. The fear of failure creeps up and makes it hard for  to take any action. If there's no guarantee of success, then  probably won't make an attempt. The risks usually seem to outweigh the gains in  life. dislikes optimists, those silly people with their rose-colored glasses who believe that everything turns out all right in the end. Such people really bother , and  looks forward to the day that they will wake up and see life's realities.\ g_E Although  may not admit it,  probably loves to be catered to and protected. A little pampering and devious people can wrap  around their little finger. As a result, 's often taken advantage of by less scrupulous characters. But  rarely learns  lesson. loves to be well-informed and to have special knowledge about a particular area, so that  can secretly think of as an expert.  uses this knowledge as an internal security blanket which  clings to when  feels threatened by others.Secretly  would probably love to be a child again, since during childhood life was nurturing rather than intimidating. In fact, it was probably one of the few times in 's life when  could be without fear of rejection. often loves to feel sorry for and assume the role of martyr.  does a great deal for others, but does  get any gratitude? No! But then  always thought it was better to give than to receive. would go to great pains to get a little reassurance. Any sign that  is needed and wanted, no matter how subtle, will probably boost  energy for days. To , acceptance is better than almost any material gift. The only problem is that  gets it so seldom.@'gb > v -=NOTE: In some cases these fantasies will not be conscious to  or evident to those around . This restricted fantasy pattern is apt to exist when either  partner or  environment is overly inhibited. In these cases the fantasy may only be elucidated under hypnosis or sodium pentathol.WARNING: Dr. Shrink is perfectly aware that both the rater and the ratee will probably disagree with this section of the report. In similar situations most people "say" that this section is wrong. Remember, however, that the doctor is an excellent clinician who has no reason to lie. Many inhibited raters and ratees do have reason to deny this type of fantasy. Sometimes you can tell whether they are being honest by checking carefully for blushing, an unusual speech pattern, or by a change in breathing.WARNING: The following analysis should be viewed with caution in those extreme cases where the rater has adopted an alternate sexual lifestyle or where  is unusually repressed in  thinking about sex. In these cases the rater will say that Dr. Shrink is wrong.  will never admit that  is just a lousy rater.CAUTION: Do not read the following section unless you are a mature and open-minded adult. Dr. Shrink learned many years ago that people who are not psychologically minded reject any analytic statement about sex that is outside the bounds of traditional, conservative thinking. So they will naturally reject the following interpretation and tell the world that it is false.WARNING: The following section contains sexually explicit material that offends many people. Please read no further if you fall into this group. Dr. Shrink has found that such people defend themselves psychologically by denying the accuracy of any personal statement about sex.WARNING: Uptight people always deny the accuracy of any statement about sex. Sex causes them great anxiety. This leads them to bad-mouth the good doctor's report by saying that it is not accurate. If you are uptight sexually, don't read the following material. We will all be happier. Nobody wants to hear a denier.HxHh3Major sexual turn-ons for  generally have to involve a feeling of security.  can't get enough of it, both in and out of bed.  fantasy about an ideal relationship is one in which  is first a close friend and second a lover.  may have difficulty enjoying sex without a long-term emotional commitment from  partner.Superficially,  may project the impression that  dislikes sex. But underneath  conservative exterior is a highly sensual person.  hides  sexual feelings way down deep because  is intensely vulnerable and scared to be emotionally open with others. Yet  often needs the very closeness that  fears. This ambivalence leaves  in a state of perpetual turmoil. may fantasize more about poetic and romantic whisperings than actual physical touching.  prefers  sexual experiences to resemble Victorian novels: lots of talk but little action.  has a hidden sentimental streak and can remember numerous intimate details about almost all  lovers.  falls head over heels in love and tends to idolize  partner. can really get turned on by analyzing  sexual partners.  is likely to be curious about what is hidden behind the masks they wear, and  perceptions can startling in their accuracy.  gets turned off, however, if  finds something  does not like. The vulgar, crude or obnoxious drive  away.If there were ever a person who suffered from performance anxiety, it is . Chances are that  is extremely concerned about how  measures up, in every way, to the other members of  sex. The curious aspect of 's psyche is that  sometimes makes these mental comparisons while actually in the process of having sex, which reduces  level of arousal.  seems to tally every move  makes between the sheets.huGIt will take some extra effort on your part to become good friends with  because  tends to be so shy that it is difficult for  to initiate new friendships. The odds are that you will have to take the lead if you want to make friends with . Also  is apt to be extremely sensitive to your moods and may misinterpret your feelings. You may say something totally innocuous only to find out two weeks later that you offended . Unfortunately, it will be difficult to discern when you have hurt .To make friends with , accept  worrisome ways. Don't pressure  to be something that  is not or to do that which  is afraid of. 'll be miserable and as a result, you will be too. Be sympathetic to  seemingly endless ruminations. Understand that even though such things seem trivial, they are of paramount importance to . Provide the security in  life that  requires by being there to listen when  needs a shoulder to lean on.To make friends with  you need to tread lightly.  is an extremely sensitive individual whose feeling are easily hurt. You may think you are being friendly, while  thinks you are putting  down. Since  will be analyzing all your words, be sure that you don't say anything that can be misconstrued in a negative way. Your best bet is to limit your comments to those that show concern for , especially for  health. For example, to get started with , recommend a new vitamin combination or health food store.  is likely to make a recommendation of  own. Take it and report back how you are feeling better.It's not what you say but how you say it that counts with . If you come on strong or are boastful and pushy, you can forget about being friends with . But if you show a sincere interest in what  has to say,  will feel comfortable being around you.  tends to be put off by people who talk too loud, too fast, or too much. Act like  does and you will win  over, especially if you top it all off with just a little praise for something 's done. Don't go overboard with positive words, however, because  is easily embarrassed if you make too big a deal about  actions.  wants to know that you are interested in , but  doesn't want you to broadcast it all over town. tends to think of as a kind person who does for others before doing for .  will easily be your friend, and admire you as well, if you demonstrate that you are as selfless as . Go out of your way to be charitable towards . Think up favors that you can do for  and then do them without saying a word.  loves to be the recipient of small courtesies, no matter how trivial others might perceive them to be. Even simple things like opening a car door for  or helping  carry things that  could easily manage will engender positive feeling.!%|9(,.Convincing  to think or act according to your wishes is a difficult task that needs to be undertaken with care if you require much of a change. People like  build up a set of beliefs and behaviors over a period of time. This consistency of attitude serves as a safety net that protects them against possible future harm. Thus, they don't give it up easily. The best approach to persuading  involves gradually shifting  thinking so that when  does make a decision in your favor, it will appear as if  had been headed in that direction all along. For example, to get  to vote to recall the mayor, show how the mayor had misled  in the first place. Then you might point out how the mayor had acted against the interests of the community. Finally, remind  of the precedent  set by voting to recall a similar politician in the past. Always remember to down play the significance of each step toward the adoption of your idea.Consider provoking guilt to get your way with . Remind  that  actions started things in the first place. For example, to get  to buy a new car, say that  failure to properly care for  current car has led to the need for a new one. Continue on by explaining that  old car is dangerous for  family and others to drive in. Throw in how relieved  neighbors and associates will feel when the old car is gone. Tell  that they have mentioned how embarrassing it is to have such a junker parked in the neighborhood, but that they have been afraid to bring it up with  for fear of hurting  feelings. is apt to be a difficult person to persuade if a direct approach is taken. People like  respond best to the more convoluted techniques of persuasion, such as those involving guilt, shame, and reciprocation. The basics of all these techniques is similar. You give  something like a gift, a concession, a favor, or a compliment, and  feels obligated to pay you back. For example, if you want to get  to agree with a point you are making, try making one concession first. Then provoke guilt. Say something to the effect of "I gave in on 'such and such' and it's only fair that you now give in somewhere, too." An important variation on this approach involves making two requests to this person; the first large and the second small. For example, you may first ask  to lend you $200, and then when  hesitates, tell  you could survive on $10. Guilt from rejecting your first request will usually cause  to give in to the second one.Begin with a logical and low-key approach when attempting to persuade . Go step-by-step and be reasonably detailed. Carefully respond to any of  questions, but always be sure to down play the significance and the complexities of any decision, action, or concession you are asking of .  is naturally inclined to expand the importance and the difficulty of even the most trivial concern. Unfortunately  often succeeds at making things too important or too complicated for  to possibly take action. Any opportunity  can find to worry about the situation will cause  to lapse into indecision, so keep things small and insignificant.If you have tried everything and  still won't do what you want, resort to the ultimate weapon: anger. But don't go overboard, because shouting or name-calling will get you nowhere. Subtly use your anger by making  feel guilty. Tell , for example, that  has wasted your time and cost you a great deal of money, not to mention personal pain. Tears or other external signs of emotional anguish would further support your cause. Again, however, don't prolong  torture. Visibly calm down and regain control over yourself. Then tell  that you really don't give a hoot about anything other than . Your main concern is really for  happiness and continued friendship. If  is not eating out of your hands at this point, you may need to enroll in some acting classes.53?EqLQV9_ gRp53?EqLQV9_ gRp53?EqLQV9_ gRp53?EqLQV9_ gRpm<?EqLQV9_ gRpm<?EqLQV9_ gRpm<?EqLQV9_ gRpm<?EqLQV9_ gRpS3468:You'll notice that others seem to perk up when  enters the room. People are attracted to  because  has the ability to charm and put people at ease. An interesting individual who stands out in most groups, 's attracted to the unconventional and seeks out variety.  has plenty of self-confidence and is ready to take over when others may take flight. You'll find  giving out advice to most people  meets.If you watch , you can tell that  is probably the sort of person who enjoys game-playing, whether on the playing field, at work, or in school. A natural competitor, feeling challenged by others is a reward in and of itself. And the tougher the opponent the better.  is ready to take on most comers.  tends to remain positive even after everyone else has given up.  fully enjoys overcoming  opponents and is prepared to use whatever tactics are necessary for a battle royal. is a doer whose public image is dominated by a need to get things done. Whether it is starting a new business, organizing a party, or cleaning the house,  is likely to be the hands-down leader. In addition to  own old-fashioned hard work,  is quick to swamp  opposition with sarcasm and disdain.  gets the job done better than almost anybody, and along the way, develops great loyalties from those on  team.  may, however, leave a string of enemies in  wake.Many people are strongly attracted to 's public persona.  skillfully draws people to  through a combination of charm, humor, and sincerity.  social skills are so well developed that most people don't even know (or mind) that they are being subtly manipulated. Even though it's usually a two-way street,  always seems to pull ahead in  interactions with others. Whether it's buying a car or building a house,  truly enjoys coming out on top. fancies to be something of an explorer type and enjoys confronting the unknown. You may find  browsing in the travel section of the local bookstore.  tends to be a real travel buff, and even if  lacks the ability to actually visit exotic places, 'll read or fantasize about them and be the armchair expert.  becomes energized by places and situations that many others would approach with caution.  may even envision as a modern day Robinson Crusoe.<>?WA;C's public image is likely to stand out.  has that subtle yet enduring quality known as charisma. Friends and associates who know  would liken  to a cat, often landing on  feet. And it's true.  is quick to size up the most difficult situation, and  hunches are almost always on target.  single-minded determination to get to that place  really wants to go marks  for success. is a natural leader whose drive inspires others to follow .  ambition knows no bounds, and  often channels it into improving on that which is old or outmoded.  enjoys being the undisputed boss, who calls the shots and is always thinking ten steps ahead of  subordinates.  more affectionate friends call  a slave driver, while  detractors may rely on various four letter expletives when discussing  character.'s public persona is likely to be a source of energy in any group situation. Even if  is not formally vested with authority,  will probably become an important formulator of opinion. In these situations, fireworks are bound to occur until  leadership is made official or  is forced out: 's not one to be tamed.  enjoys beginning projects and being seen as an entrepreneur. is persuasive and 'll readily demonstrate that  has one of the quickest, most clever tongues around. No matter how convinced you are of being right,  may be able to manipulate you into agreeing with . The moment  feels that you realize you are being taken, however,  will shift your attention to something else to avoid being pinned down. It's fair to say that when it's to  own benefit,  tends to twist the truth.  can be a con artist of the highest caliber.If you find yourself in a public debate with , you had better suggest that the two of you continue the discussion privately to minimize the drubbing that your self-esteem could take. You may as well resign yourself to a loss.  tends to be opinionated and fully convinced of the correctness of  ideas. Sure, you can discuss, argue and even harangue  into the ground, but chances are slim that you'll succeed in changing  mind. In fact, 'll probably be the one who ends up winning you over to  side!]EF]SHhIm(KI's life occasionally moves at such a frenzied pace that everything has the quality of being a peak experience. The only drawback is that  tends to burn through people as quickly as  does new ideas or schemes. Secretly  private self is busy warding off feelings of boredom.  impulsive jumping from one thing to another diverts  attention from the emptiness that lurkes around every corner.As you might guess from watching ,  privately aspires to greatness. But in  own way and on  own terms. However, what sometimes goes along with this ambition is an ego that just won't quit.  thinks  is tops and may even liken to some very great and well established people. At  worst,  can be arrogant and self-serving.Behind 's public image is a natural existentialist whose main concern is avoiding boredom and emptiness.  may go to great lengths to avoid dying without leaving a mark that will weather the test of time. For this reason  private life is devoted to building, accomplishing, or writing things that will be permanent reminders to history of  existence.When watching 's public self, one gets the impression that  is determined to master  surroundings. But beware, because this drive is motivated by a hidden fear.  tends to believe that if  is not dominant ,  will be dominated by someone else. As with most fears, this one is not based in reality, but it would be hard to convince  otherwise. is almost pure energy and drive, underneath as well as on the surface. Typically people like this eat, sleep, and breathe whatever goal they are pursuing at the time. And they are usually very busy. So don't wait around for  to finish  current project.  will just have another one, followed by another and another.LM"NOP dislikes wimps.  believes that weak, indecisive people get in  way and hamper  every move. They irritate  to such a degree that  may even make them the brunt of  sarcasm.  sees little advantage to giving wimps any respect. deplores anything that smacks of routine.  considers to be the original "free-spirit", tied to nothing and no one.  would hate the thought of going to the same places and doing the same things all  life. Too much day-to-day repetition is likely to make  very unhappy. dislikes the idea of buttering people up.  is likely to become irritated at the thought of extolling the supposed virtues of another person for the sake of getting something in return. Secretly, however,  doesn't mind when other people do it to . would hate to be seen driving a beat up car like a '63 Plymouth.  desires possessions that broadcast  prestige, power and enjoyment for the new.  fantasizes of showering with all the pleasures that money can buy. After all,  feels that 's earned it. hates losing and will fight like mad to avoid it. Winning tends to be all that matters to , no matter what  might say to the contrary and no matter what it may cost.  frequently looks to the future to figure out how to get ahead of everyone else.QRSTIV loves making decisions. Big, small, inconsequential or significant, 's in  element when deciding on a course of action and then persuading others to follow  lead.  is usually ready to take charge and start issuing commands. thoroughly enjoys any situation in which fate seems to be against . The seeming hopelessness of it all only boosts  energy and helps  buck the odds. Give  a challenge and watch  come to life.  may even be aggressive and competitive in order to succeed. loves variety in  life. What  does today is usually different from what  does tomorrow or the next day.  tends to be curious about all manner of things, which often leads to  involvement in many projects at the same time. likes a good argument, be it friendly banter or out-and-out confrontation. The topic is almost immaterial. Religion, politics, sex, or money will do. You name it,  will probably debate it.  has a great deal of staying power and may even argue ad nauseam over something as trivial as who left the cap off the toothpaste. loves the new-fangled, ultra-modern, space-age technology. 'd rather improve on the old-fashioned than accept it as the best. Traditional approaches to life and relationships do not appeal to  in the slightest.W'6X1Z>o[v\]=NOTE: In some cases these fantasies will not be conscious to  or evident to those around . This restricted fantasy pattern is apt to exist when either  partner or  environment is overly inhibited. In these cases the fantasy may only be elucidated under hypnosis or sodium pentathol.WARNING: Dr. Shrink is perfectly aware that both the rater and the ratee will probably disagree with this section of the report. In similar situations most people "say" that this section is wrong. Remember, however, that the doctor is an excellent clinician who has no reason to lie. Many inhibited raters and ratees do have reason to deny this type of fantasy. Sometimes you can tell whether they are being honest by checking carefully for blushing, an unusual speech pattern, or by a change in breathing.WARNING: The following analysis should be viewed with caution in those extreme cases where the rater has adopted an alternate sexual lifestyle or where  is unusually repressed in  thinking about sex. In these cases the rater will say that Dr. Shrink is wrong.  will never admit that  is just a lousy rater.CAUTION: Do not read the following section unless you are a mature and open-minded adult. Dr. Shrink learned many years ago that people who are not psychologically minded reject any analytic statement about sex that is outside the bounds of traditional, conservative thinking. So they will naturally reject the following interpretation and tell the world that it is false.WARNING: The following section contains sexually explicit material that offends many people. Please read no further if you fall into this group. Dr. Shrink has found that such people defend themselves psychologically by denying the accuracy of any personal statement about sex.WARNING: Uptight people always deny the accuracy of any statement about sex. Sex causes them great anxiety. This leads them to bad-mouth the good doctor's report by saying that it is not accurate. If you are uptight sexually, don't read the following material. We will all be happier. Nobody wants to hear a denier.W_q`dbcy_e seems to have an unstoppable amount of energy that  brings to any relationship, and  sexual partners rarely forget their encounters with .  craving for adventure imay lead  to experiment with many different techniques. Although  might try to camouflage  libido by channeling it into a career, it remains a remarkably strong influence in  life. is apt to be turned off by excuses. Headaches, the kids, or bad timing are not likely to be accepted as valid reasons to abstain from sex.  attitude is "put out or get out."  has too much pride to tolerate being led on and then left dangling. If you tend to be somewhat inhibited sexually,  is probably not your ideal partner.  suggestions for various sexual experiments may scare away the timid.Talking about curious perversions during sex is likely to arouse , and the farther out the better.  may even provoke  partner into saying shocking things to sexually excite .  seeks a willing partner with a vivid imagination who is always thinking up new ways to keep  happy. If  cannot get  current partner to cooperate,  may go out hunting for someone who will. probably gets a kick out of S&M fantasies, but  is very secretive and keeps this interest to . Imagining as the undisputed master ruling  slave with an iron hand really turns  on. 's into bondage, and the idea of using ropes or handcuffs appeals to  strongly. 's desire is not so much to inflict pain, but to force  partner into submission. often daydreams about sex as a conquest and wants to play the part of the hunter in pursuit of sexual prey. The harder the chase, the more resistance  meets, the better. 's aggressive side demands that  lover surrender and obey , both in and out of bed. Typically  treats  partner as  private property and becomes easily jealous.  needs to be dominant and wants to be perceived as sexually masterful.'ghj^ln>The best way to become friends with  is to get involved in whatever work project  is interested in. Be prepared to stay late, because  is most approachable at the end of a long day after most people have gone home. Keep your conversations focused on the task at hand or on the strategies and tactics regarding  advancement in life. Talk about  interests and you will have a good friend. isn't likely to have much interest in light-hearted chatter. Which is not to say that you can only talk with  about the meaning of human existence. Just keep the trivial details of life to yourself and accept the fact that  is not likely to show much personal interest in you, your life or your family. That is how  is with everyone. Don't be surprised if  tries to dominate your relationship. If  can't do so,  may hesitate to become involved with you.Find out what  likes to do if you want to be friends with , but make sure you let  take the lead. Always be ready to explore new things. Whether it be a street, an old building, or the other side of the lake, be prepared to drive around, to try new restaurants, and to stop and see historic sites. And most importantly, if are interested in staying at home or going to run-of-the-mill sort of places, keep it hidden from , unless you want to go alone.To make a friend out of , first make sure you are informed about current events. Read the paper or any specialty magazines that  enjoys so you can talk about things  finds interesting. Always avoid boring or trivial topics, like life insurance or what people "should or should not do." Remember that  tends to be somewhat of a sensation seeker, so focus your initial discussions with  around exciting people, places or events.To make friends with , project the look of a person who has life totally together, as  admires confidence and strength in  friends. Start a dialogue with  about your latest idea or success. Or mention the person that you know who became a star or millionaire overnight. If worse comes to worst, talk about some wacky invention that you've been thinking about patenting.  loves to hear about other's accomplishments almost as much as  loves to talk about  own. And of course, be sure to ask a question that will set the stage for  to do some bragging.pp~svy{The easiest way to persuade  is to have someone  knows and likes act as an intermediary, because individuals such as this decide things on the basis of liking the people involved. If you can't use an intermediary, then be sure that you develop a friendship with  first, before even beginning the persuasion process. Also remember that this kind of person has a strong need to be a leader and that this will be reflected in  decision-making. Be sure you are arguing for something that is innovative and likely to become popular in the future. Or let  discover on  own some aspect of your position that gives it greater value. The trick to doing so is to stop short of publicizing all the positive features of your arguments and let  find one or two on  own.  will be more inclined to act if  thinks  is getting a bargain that no one else even noticed.This is the kind of person that you persuade best by being totally "up front" in your purposes, but somewhat devious in your methodology. Let  think that  is "putting one over on you" by discovering an advantage to  that you don't know about. For example, when selling your house, tell  the bottom line price on what you will accept and then mention that you will "throw in the old Oriental carpets" at no extra cost. Secretly, of course, you've already included the cost of the carpets in the house's sale price. Let  discover that they actually have a value of several thousand dollars.  likes getting a hidden bargain so much that  will often decide on that basis alone.The key to persuading  is to remember that  turns most aspects of life into a game. Even though this is not apparent to many of the people around , and  is apt to vigorously deny it, all you have to do is watch  go through life to know that it is true. To successfully influence , it is important to first determine which games are most important to  at the moment. Then find a way to present the desired action or idea in a manner that appears to be helpful for winning one of them. However, under no circumstances should this persuasion process itself be made evident, or even remotely discussed. If it is,  is likely to treat it as just another game with a winner and a loser, but  won't be the loser.Be sure to present your arguments to  in a way that connects agreement with you to status or power for . For example, if  is your boss and you want  to promote you to "executive assistant", subtly allow  to discover that all upper level managers in large corporations have executive assistants. This is the type of information  should read in an article that "happens" to be laying around, however. If  has the slightest idea that you are manipulating ,  may resist your input forever.There are several alternate techniques for persuasion that work well with this type of individual. Be aware that  can easily accept an idea on a temporary basis and then change  mind to oppose it.  is not tied to concepts.  uses them as part of whatever contest  views as being in. Therefore, continue to persuade  even after  appears to have agreed with you. Be sure that there is no chance  can "forget" and a sincere word or two praising  remarkable decision-making skills won't hurt your case. But don't lay it on too thick.  sees right through people who try to get something out of  by buttering  up.j6, &7j6, &7j6, &7j6, &7j6, &7j6, &7j6, &7j6, &7YڂqVYou might overhear  saying something to the effect of, "I didn't like the way  looked at me." And it may very well be true.  doesn't like strangers getting close to . The cool glance  sends out indicates that  is inclined to be suspicious of what others say.  prefers to keep people at a distance. Perhaps that's best, as  has  own agenda and is usually following it, full steam ahead.Talk with  for a brief period of time and you'll realize that  tends to be somewhat skeptical.  may even pride on  ability to see through false claims, lies, and exaggerations. Where most people have a healthy cautiousness, 's downright suspicious.  has little faith in anyone but and is not likely to reveal  real feelings to those  does not know. is easily picked out of a crowd.  is the detached, silent individual who is likely to respond to questions with clipped one- or two-word answers. When  does speak, it is rarely with the sort of free-flowing chitchat that most people take part in. It may seem as if  calculates exactly what  wants to say and keeps  purpose in mind at all times. You probably won't see any of  emotions, but you can count on  deliberate choice of words.A relatively high percentage of people like  keep unusual animals as pets. Other common tendencies include wearing tinted glasses, flying planes, and driving fast cars.  secret goal is to create and maintain low levels of fear in those around , and  gets a strange pleasure from causing anxiety. This may be barely perceptible to those who are close to . won't try to hide the fact that  likes an inanimate gadget better than anything else  owns. For example,  may be quite content fooling around with  car, even if all  does is take it to the local carwash. 'll make time for one or two close friends, but don't expect much more. Others may find it difficult to get close to .3e freqently questions other people's motives because secretly  doesn't easily trust anyone. In  own mind,  is more intelligent, not to mention honest, than anyone else around. Hence, it follows that most rules and regulations don't apply to , since  sees as being slightly above it all. 's most closely guarded secret is that  can't be totally trusted either. But you will never get  to admit it.The sometimes oddball, individualistic qualities of 's personality are reflections of  private self, which is characterized by occasional chaos interspersed with periods of order and control.  is drawn to eccentric but interesting individuals who are much like in their pursuit of novelty or excitement. And  likes to meet them in unusual and slightly scary situations.'s private self can sometimes be as unaffectionate as  public one.  cares for others in  own idiosyncratic way, but has little need for outward displays of love or compassion.  heart is somewhat hardened against most tender emotions, which makes it difficult for others to get close to .  occasionally forgets to be warm or considerate.Of all the people you meet,  is the one that you are most aware of as having a private self. What may surprise you, however, is how deeply hidden this self may be. 's overriding motivation is a secret fear of people, so  is unlikely to trust anyone enough to tell them much of what  is really thinking. Neither you nor anyone else is likely to have an easy time getting inside  head.'s private self is occasionally as immovable as solid oak. It almost seems as if  goes out of  way to be difficult and uncooperative. No matter what the issue,  tends to be convinced of the righteousness of  position. Far from considering both sides of a question,  may not even admit the possibility of an alternative viewpoint, and it will take a great deal of arguing to sway .T'{SM\Don't hover over 's shoulder when  is doing something.  can't tolerate people sneaking up on  or standing behind  and  hates it even more if they touch  from behind. Being startled makes  feel vulnerable to attack.  is likely to remember events like this for a long time. doesn't appreciate unexpected distractions, especially when they are caused by other people. Usually when  is interested in something,  gets totally absorbed by the subject. Interruptions throw  off track.Conformity makes  mad.  hates to follow the crowd and usually resists with all  might any pressure to make  do so.  wants to be left alone to pursue  own interests.  dislikes it when other people impose their ideas or plans on . is annoyed by the fact that  gets cheated so often.  knows how to size people up and can usually tell when they are up to no good. In fact,  feels that most people will try to "put one over" on  if given the chance. And  feels angry every time it happens.When you get right down to it,  secretly dislikes liberals, communists, minorities, and people who love "God and country." Anyone who has a strong ideology is a fool to , and fools can only bring trouble.J;3̗ loves playing mind games on others, especially if they don't realize that they are being manipulated.  is secretly pleased when others appear silly or ignorant and usually they are capable of making fools of themselves without  help. really enjoys hearing a confession and  loves hearing a deep secret that has been guarded carefully over time. Woe be to the confessor, however, if  expects absolution. Anything said that is harmful to , could send  into angry silence. loves the thought of being totally self-reliant, like Thoreau at Walden Pond.  could then be free of other people's incompetence and  successes or failures would depend on  alone.  would be independent with a capital "i". would love to be a secret agent who outwits the KGB at every turn. Le Carre's Smiley is  hero, but  thinks that  could do a much better job if offered the position. enjoys an element of danger in  life. Whether it's on the job or in  personal life,  gets a kick out of things that are exciting. Like a moth drawn to a flame, no matter how often  may get burnt,  usually comes back for more.'>@v͟=NOTE: In some cases these fantasies will not be conscious to  or evident to those around . This restricted fantasy pattern is apt to exist when either  partner or  environment is overly inhibited. In these cases the fantasy may only be elucidated under hypnosis or sodium pentathol.WARNING: Dr. Shrink is perfectly aware that both the rater and the ratee will probably disagree with this section of the report. In similar situations most people "say" that this section is wrong. Remember, however, that the doctor is an excellent clinician who has no reason to lie. Many inhibited raters and ratees do have reason to deny this type of fantasy. Sometimes you can tell whether they are being honest by checking carefully for blushing, an unusual speech pattern, or by a change in breathing.WARNING: The following analysis should be viewed with caution in those extreme cases where the rater has adopted an alternate sexual lifestyle or where  is unusually repressed in  thinking about sex. In these cases the rater will say that Dr. Shrink is wrong.  will never admit that  is just a lousy rater.CAUTION: Do not read the following section unless you are a mature and open-minded adult. Dr. Shrink learned many years ago that people who are not psychologically minded reject any analytic statement about sex that is outside the bounds of traditional, conservative thinking. So they will naturally reject the following interpretation and tell the world that it is false.WARNING: The following section contains sexually explicit material that offends many people. Please read no further if you fall into this group. Dr. Shrink has found that such people defend themselves psychologically by denying the accuracy of any personal statement about sex.WARNING: Uptight people always deny the accuracy of any statement about sex. Sex causes them great anxiety. This leads them to bad-mouth the good doctor's report by saying that it is not accurate. If you are uptight sexually, don't read the following material. We will all be happier. Nobody wants to hear a denier.(GoCQngAlthough  might deny it,  gets turned on when  partner uses obscene language. And the more four-letter words the better. 's liable to request that  lover follow  lead in maneuvers that would sometimes shock even the most liberated.  may be a lot of things, but 's far from being square when it comes to sex. is especially turned on by backs and backsides.  wants sex performed to  definite specifications and is only aroused when  partner conforms to  desires. 's lovers sometimes compare  to a drill sergeant, always shouting orders and issuing instructions. Sometimes  motions may border on the mechanical.As far as sexual fantasies go,  doesn't seem to concern with anything besides  own gratification.  is turned off by having to wait. If a partner is unable to satisfy  sexual requirements,  may move on to someone more willing. "Out with the old and in with the new" is  motto. And  won't try to conceal  thoughts. But secretly  tends to be very insecure about  sexual performance. is turned off by sexual partners who insist on knowing about  life.  is not in the habit of confiding in anyone, in bed or out, and has no interest in lovers who attach strings to sex. But don't be surprised if  asks you to disclose intimate details about your previous partners, because  gets  kicks from hearing about the sexual exploits of others.Don't be surprised if  sneaks a look at you while you are getting dressed or puttering about in the bathroom.  may even enjoy quietly following you around without your being aware of it. Although 'd never admit it,  tends to be something of a voyeur. One of  carefully guarded fantasies is to hide in a closet and watch two strangers making love.D#gJFNMaking friends with  presents an interesting challenge, because people like  are unusually independent in their relationships with those around them. They come and go without concern for what others may think of their actions. And in many cases, they divulge little of themselves even during extended conversations. The biggest mistake you could make when talking with  is to avoid making eye contact. If you don't look  squarely in the eye,  may think you are hiding something from  and that will mark the end of your friendship.At first  may appear aloof but likable. Later it becomes clear that there is usually an invisible barrier between  and everyone else in the world. Typically  has trouble getting really close to anyone because  level of mistrust is so high. In spite of this, it should be noted that  can be interesting to be around. Often there is a sense of mystery about  and  can elicit a great deal of curiosity from others. Unfortunately, their curiosity is seldom satisfied. is not the easiest person to make friends with because of  strong interest in solitary hobbies with an element of excitement. It can be hard to find a place to casually meet . People like  are often long distance swimmers, runners, or bicyclists, so unless you are into the same sorts of things, you won't even be in the right place to strike up a conversation. You might, however, invite  to an event that has just the right kind of excitement that  thrills to. Think of some things that most people feel timid about and then ask  if 'd like to do it with you.The best areas of interest to strike up a conversation with  are those that are related to topics of authority and law enforcement. Check to see if you can't pique  interest by talking about neighborhood watch programs, security systems for the home, the number of violent crimes committed in your city or the reliability of lie detector tests. Even if these topics do not exactly mesh with  interests, your task in to find one that does if you want to be  friend. Whatever else you do, never appear to "pry" by asking about  income or quizzing  for the details of what  has been working on at  job.  questions others, but doesn't like being pressed for details about .You may have some luck breaking through 's tough exterior by doing all you can to prove to  that you mean no harm. Help  realize that you are not a threat in any way and give  the feeling that  is the powerful one in your relationship. If your self-esteem can tolerate acting inadequate or ineffectual, so much the better. If you can think of a way to offer  safety as a by-product of a friendship with you, than you can improve the likelihood of your friendship lasting.ULLsPersuade  by showing  how the position you are advocating leads to better security and to greater power for .  general distrust of others is a strong motivator in  decision making. For example, if you are selling  a car, tell  how much faster than other cars  will be able to go. If possible, talk about features that allow it to withstand a crash better than other cars or mention that the rear view mirror has a unique design that makes it difficult for cars to sneak up behind . Talk about power, bigness, boldness, and prevention whenever possible.The best way to persuade  is to play on  overall sense of mistrust of others in the world around . Sell  a house by pointing out its security system and its sturdy construction. Get  to contribute to a charity by reminding  that this is the only way to keep the country from becoming socialist. Find out what or who  mistrusts the most:  furnace,  door lock,  neighbor or  boss at work, and then show  how  agreement with you will result in a reduction of  fears.Remember that  deeply resists any efforts by others to control , so keep your approach very subtle. In the long term, the best way to persuade  is to build up  trust in you. Go out of your way to prove that you are reliable. Make promises and keep them. Be available to  with the right answer when  needs something. Above all else, never take advantage or  or underestimate  abilities. Be forewarned, however, this process is likely to take a long time. Too quick of a move on your part could result in  perceiving you as being just like all the rest.You will have to work hard to prepare yourself for a persuasive attack on .  has been compared to the Rock of Gibraltar that stubbornly refuses to budge. Prevent  from arguing with you by having all the information  could possibly want at your fingertips. Dig deep into the subject matter and be well versed in the pros and cons of the situation. The last thing you want is to appear as if you are not sure about what you are saying.  will be looking for inaccuracies or contradictions in everything you say. If  finds them,  will write you off owing to the fact that you simply don't know what you are talking about.If you know  well, then you know how difficult  can be to persuade.  approaches others with a negative mind set that is ready to oppose anything and anybody. One way to diffuse some of  initial opposition is to get  into the habit of saying yes. Begin by casually talking with  about small issues that  is sure to agree upon. Be very pleasant and mild-mannered throughout, dispelling any suspicions  might have about being taking advantage of. Slowly lead up to the big issue that you really want  to okay. The trick is to get  in the habit of saying yes, without feeling like  is being cheated. Then  is more likely to go along with your thinking on larger issues.ELV ELV ELV ELV ELV ELV ELV ELV dMSMThe outside world views  as having a flair for the dramatic.  sometimes comes out with things that most people wouldn't dream of saying. That's just what makes  a live wire. 's talkative, uninhibited, and usually ready to take a chance. Although  reactions may seem a little out of proportion and  sometimes gets a bit angry or over-excited, 's welcomed at most social gatherings.When things start getting difficult, you may see  going the other way.  method of dealing with problems is to abandon ship and start something new from scratch.  impulsive actions may seem to border on the reckless at times. 's impetuousity frequently causes  hardship, because  makes the same mistakes over and over.If you frequent the latest hot spots, you might observe  with lover #1 on Tuesday, lover #2 on Wednesday, and lover #3 on Thursday.  sometimes jumps in and out of relationships at a fast pace.  liaisons tend to be based on physical attraction and are quick to burn themselves out, ending as quickly as they began. This makes for an entertaining personality worth observing, better perhaps from a safe distance. is a person who enjoys living for the moment. You can tell from watching  that  rarely takes into account all the possible consequences of  actions.  pays little heed to the effect  behavior might have on others.  isn't one to dwell on the past, so any mistakes  may make are soon forgotten or blamed on others.On first meeting , most people find  both interesting and likable. However, this opinion can change rather quickly. After time, people tend to take extreme positions regarding . Either they love  or they hate . Those on the positive side enjoy  unpredictable behavior and  sense of humor. Those on the negative side resent  demanding nature, mood swings, and  tendency to fool around too much.c7t}The inner life of  is characterized by a seemingly endless series of schemes about  life,  career, and  future in general. These plans are developed and discarded with greater ease than the average person could ever imagine. What most people can't understand is that  considers these plans to be "working hypotheses" that may or may not be acted on.  is much more likely to view the time spent on their development as recreation rather than as work.'s private self is somewhat scattered and tends to be dominated by  impulses.  often throws caution to the winds in pursuit of  dreams.  may immerse in some pursuit, but then give up and start dreaming of something new.  works a little here, a little there, but it usually adds up a bit shy of  initial expectations. Self-restraint is an elusive lesson that  cannot seem to master.Only rarely do others begin to realize that  has a somewhat different pattern of thinking than most. Underneath the surface  is often brewing with a variety of emotions ranging from fear to love to anger. And what makes this especially hard for  to deal with is the fact that these emotions can all be present at the same time. During these times  is likely to become so involved with  inner self that  has no serious energy left for the outside world. As a result  is only able to react quickly, without thought, to things in the outside world around . It is during these times that  is prone to getting into difficulties with the people around . has a strong, hidden need to be accepted by  parents and authority figures, even though  may aggressively rebel against them. This need is never fully expressed and so  remains pulled in two conflicting directions. Part of  wants acceptance, yet part of  is sometimes defiant. It may even boil down to a coin toss to predict which side will win at any given time.You may hear  complain that  suffers from a lack of motivation or direction.  "I-don't-know-what-I-want" chant sometimes allows  to avoid the responsibilities of the real world.  private self may even have a streak of laziness.  secretly believes that if something takes too much of  effort, it's probably not worth it. Although  may not have been born with a silver spoon in  mouth,  certainly feels entitled to have one of  own.3 dislikes the status quo and most things that are conventional. Count on  to do the unexpected. Even though  extreme behavior is not always in  best interests and may even border on the self-destructive,  usually perseveres in  search for thrills.Secretly  resents authority figures and tries to circumvent their every request.  has little respect for their experiences or beliefs. When  feels they are challenging ,  has a tendency to emotionally strike out and ask questions later. dislikes being ignored or proven wrong.  usually believes  has the definitive word on what is correct and what is not. And  believes  should be listened to.  confidently offers advice on what others should be doing. does not like to be left out or forgotten by others.  needs to believe that  is important and  will interpret  exclusion from any group as a sign that  had been found wanting.  sometimes fears that others believe  to be inadequate. doesn't like to be treated like everyone else and often seeks the love and attention bestowed on a favorite child.  enjoys being waited on and believes that  needs should come before those of others, at least half of the time.  fantasizes about the day when  can have  every whim indulged.$; is in love with spontaneity and occasional reckless fun. 's drawn to excitement and is usually willing to travel far to find it. Expect  to be involved in skiing, flying or other activities that give  a rush of adrenaline. loves to assert as an expert and give  unsolicited opinion on everything.  believes  is entitled to speak  mind, no matter what  actually knows about a subject. Most people are surprised to find that  ideas are occasionlly based on facts and information. loves acting like a teenager. Watch  carefully and you'll see that  is just a kid at heart: clowning around and enjoying to the fullest. If  could have one wish, it might be to stay forever young.  has no problem allowing other people to handle life's responsibilities. looks for any possible opportunity to be extravagant. The sky's the limit when it comes to  search for excitement.  is out to have a great time in life and indulging in excess brings  true pleasure. likes to one-up other people. If  can demonstrate  cleverness and make another person look ignorant in the process, 'll feel reassured of  intelligence and wit. This little pleasure unfortunately makes  many enemies."'ID>v=NOTE: In some cases these fantasies will not be conscious to  or evident to those around . This restricted fantasy pattern is apt to exist when either  partner or  environment is overly inhibited. In these cases the fantasy may only be elucidated under hypnosis or sodium pentathol.WARNING: Dr. Shrink is perfectly aware that both the rater and the ratee will probably disagree with this section of the report. In similar situations most people "say" that this section is wrong. Remember, however, that the doctor is an excellent clinician who has no reason to lie. Many inhibited raters and ratees do have reason to deny this type of fantasy. Sometimes you can tell whether they are being honest by checking carefully for blushing, an unusual speech pattern, or by a change in breathing.WARNING: The following analysis should be viewed with caution in those extreme cases where the rater has adopted an alternate sexual lifestyle or where  is unusually repressed in  thinking about sex. In these cases the rater will say that Dr. Shrink is wrong.  will never admit that  is just a lousy rater.CAUTION: Do not read the following section unless you are a mature and open-minded adult. Dr. Shrink learned many years ago that people who are not psychologically minded reject any analytic statement about sex that is outside the bounds of traditional, conservative thinking. So they will naturally reject the following interpretation and tell the world that it is false.WARNING: The following section contains sexually explicit material that offends many people. Please read no further if you fall into this group. Dr. Shrink has found that such people defend themselves psychologically by denying the accuracy of any personal statement about sex.WARNING: Uptight people always deny the accuracy of any statement about sex. Sex causes them great anxiety. This leads them to bad-mouth the good doctor's report by saying that it is not accurate. If you are uptight sexually, don't read the following material. We will all be happier. Nobody wants to hear a denier.j0E<Zu fantasizes about all sorts of bedroom activities. 'll probably try anything once and deny nothing when it comes to pleasure. Moral considerations aside, there aren't many turn-ons that wouldn't work for . Just like a true hedonist,  believes you can never get too much of a good thing. spends a great deal of time thinking about sex and can be insatiable when it comes to sexual pleasure, frequently wanting more than  lovers have to give. It's obvious that  lust for life spills over into the bedroom.  tends to be at the mercy of  sexual impulses and can become addicted to special perversions. would like to treat  partners to a real show in bed, but  actions can be unpredictable. One moment 'll pull out all the stops and hold nothing back, but the next  may seem detached or preoccupied. Neither  nor  partner knows what to expect next, and if the truth were known, neither wants to know. tends to wear out both physically and emotionally early on in  sexual life.  simply does too much, too soon and too intensely. By early adulthood,  has probably experienced a wide range of sexual encounters and found wondering what all the fuss is about.  has a tendency to lose  youthful energy earlier than most.'s favorite fantasy may be to imagine an orgy of torrid group sex.  meets a group of liberated, disease-free swingers, and they all get together in one giant bedroom. Things start off slowly at first, but  gets the ball rolling. It all turns into a veritable smorgasbord of sex, where everyone ends up doing all sorts of sexual acts with everyone else at one time or another. Don't expect  to admit to this fantasy, however; if confronted with it, 'd deny it vehemently.tAYMaking friends with  should be relatively easy, because people like  are extremely outgoing and social in their interests and activities. In fact, they are sometimes seen by others as being almost too friendly. So even a small overture made in 's direction may be enough to get a relationship started. Chances are high that  will initiate the friendship as long as you present yourself as accessible and interested in the things that  likes.Be aware that  may be somewhat demanding of attention in  friendships, and if  is frustrated in these demands,  may become unusually angry and erratic in  behavior. Most of the time,  devotes  time to having fun and welcomes anyone who wants to join right in. Just be prepared to take a back seat when it comes to who is in the spotlight. A friendship with  may be a mixed blessing, but is certainly meant only for those who are tough-skinned. is an easy person to get to know and to be friends with. For instance, it is unlikely that  could resist an invitation to have lunch at a fashionable restaurant where the beautiful people go to be seen. Discuss the latest in clothes, music, wines, or whatever is new and very popular. But be careful about what you are starting with .  can be so friendly that you may spend more time trying to avoid  friendship than hanging on to it. is probably one of the easiest people around to make friends with. In fact, simply offering a hint that you are interested in getting to know  will probably do the trick. And if that isn't enough, praise something that  has done and get  talking about  favorite topic: . Just make sure you attention is totally focused on what  is saying and remember to ooh and aah.The only hard part about making friends with  is getting  to sit down and talk with you. You may even have to bluntly ask  to take the phone off the hook, turn the television off, lower the stereo, or throw the dog and kids outside.  loves activity and  energy level is so high that  prefers to be doing at least two things at once. Once you do get  to focus, however, you may find that you have a lot in common.'@gh is so changeable in  attitudes and opinions that it is difficult to tie  to anything for long. Take this into account when attempting to persuade . Consider your first argument as a starting point and alter any words or thoughts that seem to trouble  as you continue to present your case. Find the rewards that appeal to  the most and use them in place of your earlier inducements. Do anything so that  can't back out or change  mind. For example, get  to put  agreement in writing, thereby committing  even further to your proposal.Attempting to persuade  to do something is apt to be a "hit and miss" proposition. The success of the strategy you take depends more on  momentary situation than on some lasting inner need that  might have. Don't become frustrated or upset if  goes back and forth many times during the course of your discussion. Firmly and calmly come back with a "yes but," every time  disagrees. Gradually convince  by addressing all  objections while continuously moving  towards agreeing with you. is most easily influenced by arguments that point out what  has to gain. You may even have to change the nature of the rewards and penalties for  by devising new terms that are likely to have greater appeal to . For example, you could trivialize  commitment by asking  to fill out the "necessary, humdrum paperwork" rather than the "binding, sign in blood, order form." Or if  is a child, tell  that "the two of us are going to play a game to see who can keep  eyes closed the longest" rather than, "the two of us are going to take a nap." To add new rewards or penalties you need only make up and present new features or promotions related to the decision. Pile on the positive benefits  will gain from agreeing with you. You may, for example, tell  that if  quits smoking,  cough will go away, and if  quits this month, 's likely to get that new car that  has been asking for.If everything has failed with  and  isn't buying any of your arguments, don't give up hope. There is usually at least one final chance with people like . Although it depends on your knowing  reasonably well, it is deceptively simple to use. All you need to do is to add a new twist to the conversation. Your goal is to distract  from what  perceives as a sure win by "pushing  button." For example, if you are asking for a salary increase and getting nowhere, you might casually ask  how  likes  new car. Then after getting  talking positively again, tell  how badly your own car is in need of repairs. The trick is to make  seem inconsistent in  actions or beliefs if  does not go along with you.One technique that works well in persuading people like  is built on the principle of scarcity. This principle holds that scarce things are more desirable than plentiful things. To persuade  to go to a movie, for example, tell  that this is the last week it will be shown. To get  to vote for your candidate, tell  that the candidate agreed to run only at the urging of loyal supporters and, win or lose, will never run again. To get  to buy a house say it has only been on the market for a few hours and already you've had ten inquiries and feel sure that it won't last long. The secret to persuading  is to play on  innate impulsivity and  desire to have what everyone else wants.N $+65N $+65N $+65N $+65N $+65N $+65N $+65N $+65lkrI|Y Even under the pressures of day-to-day living,  maintains  own personal space that  guards at all times. Valuing  privacy,  keeps most people at arm's length and resents those bold enough to attempt an intrusion. Most people would describe  as aloof, and  has no qualms with that assessment, as long as it keeps undesirable individuals far away.Although the image  portrays is rarely consistent, many people mistakenly perceive  as being somewhat angry. But  is not necessarily the aggressive sort.  public persona tends to be a front that is carefully calculated to keep certain people at bay. And as it turns out, it can be very effective. After all, who wants to be around someone with a bad temper? is likely to be perceived as being moody, but  ups and downs are probably best known to those who are close to . When  becomes depressed, things seem bleak, and  finds it difficult to cope with the details of life.  melancholy may become so strong that the only cure is a radical change of scenery. And  won't need to invite anyone along for emotional support. is the kind of person who prefers to stay on the periphery of things.  rarely becomes an integral part of any group that  may be connected with because  tends to be quiet and somewhat unconventional in dress or manner.  is happiest when off on  own, doing those few things that  truly enjoys, such as relaxing after a hard day.Once you get to know , you'll sense that  doesn't view life in quite the same way as the rest of us do. Events that cause most of us intense concern, painful worries, or strong emotions seem to roll right off  back. Some people liken  to Peter Pan, the eternal child who disliked anything remotely connected with responsibility and preferred living in the fairy tale world of Never-Never Land. Freedom tends to be  first priority, freedom from worldly events and difficult personalities.2 c >gQPNE-1 Although  may appear friendly enough, underneath the surface is a person who is not at ease around other people.  ego tends to be fragile and  self-esteem is subject to ups and downs.  sometimes feels different from everyone else and because of this rarely fits in with any group.  prefers to search out an isolated niche for .'s private self is marked by  anger towards a few, select individuals.  tends to believe 's been wronged or treated unfairly in the past and finds it difficult to let go of old, hurt feelings. Chances are slim that 'd actually go so far as to plot out a strategy for revenge. Instead 'll spend  time dreaming of the day  might get even. And if that day is ten years in the future, so much the better. has a secret need for solitude, which  may fight but never really conquer.  inner self is prone to wanderlust and  frequently fantasizes about climbing aboard a plane or getting into  car and driving until  runs out of gas. But this private journey is for  alone.  favorite place to go, of course, is somewhere that only  knows about.Individuals with 's disposition seem to have the most unusual private selves that one could possibly imagine. They do in fact have more strength of character than their public image indicates. But this is not evident until  is called upon to defend  opinion or position, at which point  turns on  hidden persuasive abilities.The private life of  is apt to be characterized by an ongoing movie that  produces, directs, edits and stars in. Usually the script is so interesting that  finds it difficult to stop watching, even for a few moments. Thus, it may become hard for  to concentrate on the outside world of people and day-to-day matters.  is likely to prefer staying by , so  won't be distracted from  self-made show.'j0 dislikes being the center of attention and  therefore works hard at maintaining a low-key, unobtrusive image. The more  can fade into the woodwork the better. Going unnoticed allows  freedom from the prying eyes of others and the chance to create  own reality. dislikes doing the mundane. Anything conservative or conventional draws  silent wrath. Unfortunately, people around  can only guess at this because  usually keeps such thoughts to . resents alcohol and drug laws, believing that everyone has a right to do their own thing as long as they don't hurt anyone else in the process. Because  is likely to try many ways to rid of  own feelings of anxiety,  is not opposed to the occasional use of chemicals to unwind. hates to be dressed up. Formal attire does not fit with  self-image of a member of the counter-culture. Give  a new set of clothes and you could cause  real pain. hates the prospect of regular work for the rest of  life.  is the sort of individual who may even look forward to retiring. Then  can remove from life's unpleasant realities and clean out all the cobwebs in  head. In general,  enjoys loosening up, relaxing and having a good time. loves being eccentric. You might even notice  going off on  own to do something new and different. Much of  interest in being an individualist tends to be a reaction to  difficulties coping with everyday life. loves dreaming and can spend hours thinking up the most detailed fantasy.  has a very vivid imagination and sometimes uses it as a refuge from the demands of the real world.  can visualize in many roles with very little effort. loves to carry a grudge and 's no slouch when it comes to remembering the many ways  has been wronged. Even if a personal slight occurred a year ago,  will probably remember the incident in full detail.  tends to be quick to anger and somewhat slow to forgive.Deep down  loves to do things that cause  problems in the long run.  sometimes gets into difficult situations whose emotional consequences are too much for  to handle. Then  wonders how the whole mess got started in the first place. loves it when the rest of  family or  roommates go on vacation and leave  alone. In spite of the fact that  cares a great deal for those close to ,  sometimes finds longing for breaks from the difficulties that can arise in relating to others.'>3!v"#=NOTE: In some cases these fantasies will not be conscious to  or evident to those around . This restricted fantasy pattern is apt to exist when either  partner or  environment is overly inhibited. In these cases the fantasy may only be elucidated under hypnosis or sodium pentathol.WARNING: Dr. Shrink is perfectly aware that both the rater and the ratee will probably disagree with this section of the report. In similar situations most people "say" that this section is wrong. Remember, however, that the doctor is an excellent clinician who has no reason to lie. Many inhibited raters and ratees do have reason to deny this type of fantasy. Sometimes you can tell whether they are being honest by checking carefully for blushing, an unusual speech pattern, or by a change in breathing.WARNING: The following analysis should be viewed with caution in those extreme cases where the rater has adopted an alternate sexual lifestyle or where  is unusually repressed in  thinking about sex. In these cases the rater will say that Dr. Shrink is wrong.  will never admit that  is just a lousy rater.CAUTION: Do not read the following section unless you are a mature and open-minded adult. Dr. Shrink learned many years ago that people who are not psychologically minded reject any analytic statement about sex that is outside the bounds of traditional, conservative thinking. So they will naturally reject the following interpretation and tell the world that it is false.WARNING: The following section contains sexually explicit material that offends many people. Please read no further if you fall into this group. Dr. Shrink has found that such people defend themselves psychologically by denying the accuracy of any personal statement about sex.WARNING: Uptight people always deny the accuracy of any statement about sex. Sex causes them great anxiety. This leads them to bad-mouth the good doctor's report by saying that it is not accurate. If you are uptight sexually, don't read the following material. We will all be happier. Nobody wants to hear a denier.%#>&>|'^(Z* likes to fantasize about interesting and stimulating lovers.  favorite turn-on is imagining someone who views every part of  body as sexual and finds something erotic to do with every square inch. And the thought of this is probably more interesting to  than the sex act itself.Unless under the influence of some chemical,  is likely to have difficulty in trusting  partner enough to share  secret desires or sexual fantasies.  insists on  independence and only establishes relationships on  own terms. This may frustrate those who want to be  lover, but  isn't one to care. is likely to fantasize about having sex in secret, preferably dangerous, places. Local artists' haunts or musty library basements are very seductive spots for . So is the idea of an opium den. When it comes to turning  on, the more exotic, the more erotic. All this is in  head, however;  keeps it well hidden from  everyday life.There is nothing conventional about 's fantasies about sex.  gets turned on by conjuring up images of the myriad variations of sexual activity. Secretly  is interested in trying all kinds of wild and crazy (some might say perverse) sexual acts.  may have a hidden sadistic streak, which  occasionally caters to, and  daydreams can get pretty kinky when the mood strikes.Behind 's public image is likely to lie a driving curiosity about all manner of sexual paraphernalia. Secretly  is fascinated by ticklers, S&M devices, unusual underwear, and special creams and oils.  may even receive special catalogues or literature in the mail. Unless you search the back of  closet or out in the garage, you may never know just how far out  interests lie.+tq.t0`23A is an individual who may be difficult to get to know because  prefers to spend most  time alone. It is unlikely that  is interested in having a large circle of friends, let alone a close one. In fact, if there is a basement or a secret room where  could retreat to, you'll probably never even see . However, sooner or later  has to come up for air and  may even venture into a bookstore, computer shop, hobby store or other such place. Seize any opportunities to speak with , no matter how briefly, to find out what  is up to. To get the ball rolling, ask  to show you what  has been working on.The best approach to develop a friendship with  is working along side  for a long enough period of time that  feels comfortable with you. This may take two days, two weeks or two years.  doesn't readily trust people and may keep  guard up for a long time. Remember that  has something of a critical streak, and prepare to let some of  less tactful comments slide off your back.  can be a difficult character to get to know, but once  let's you inside  private world, you'll be glad  did.Making friends with  is a matter of taking the lead and persevering during the early part of the relationship, when  seems more interested in  other activities than in talking with you. You will need to be accepting of  solitary ways, such as when  disappears for a few hours. Never pressure  or demand  attention because that could drive  away. The more you present a non-threatening, non-judgmental approach to , the more likely that a strong friendship will grow.The best way to make friends with  is to maintain a healthy interpersonal distance. Never come too close when talking with , and above all else, never physically touch .  will instinctively shy away from you and crawl into  protective shell if you get too touchy-feely. It's okay to be friendly and warm, but in the early stages of friendship be sure to respect  need for personal space.You will have to get the ball rolling if you want to make friends with . Approach  in a relaxed fashion and ask open-ended questions to get  talking. Don't expect more than one- or two-sentence answers. There may also be silences, and worst of all, an occasional uncomfortable pause while  is in mid-thought.T5l79<K?You have your work cut out for you in trying to influence 's behavior. Generally the process of persuading this type of person involves several components. First, it is crucial that you reduce the valances associated with the outcome of the decision. Make the choice appear easy and the possible consequences trivial. Second, position your proposal as the less popular choice. If it looks as if agreeing with you is what anyone in 's position would do, expect opposition. However, if agreeing with you reflects  independent spirit and the chance to be  own person, then you can expect  support.People like  are among the hardest individuals to influence. They don't like being persuaded and they especially don't like being seen by others as being persuadable. Make it clear to  that there is little work involved in the decision process and that the results of the decision are insignificant. Personal ease is crucial to  in reducing  anxieties to the point where can make a decision, so make the process as simple as possible.There is no ideal strategy for influencing this kind of person. The best approach to persuasion combines the following attributes: it is too subtle to be detected by , it positions the desired action or opinion as one that is anti-social (e.g., like speeding on a rural highway or dressing in a counter-culture fashion), and it acts to reduce  internal tensions. So if you are trying to gain  agreement, tell  how your position differs from what most people would advocate and how  will emotionally benefit from going along with you. For example, if you are trying to get  to vote for your candidate, point out how this candidate is more independent than others in the race and how voting for your candidate will make 's neighborhood a safer place to live.If you take a direct approach and ask  to do something for you without careful preparation, it is likely that 'll flatly refuse.  is wary of being taken advantage of and being seen as a pushover.  has no intention of meeting anyone's demands. The best trick to use with  is to give  a "yesable" proposition. Instead of asking  to do one thing, embed what you want in a multiple choice proposition. For example, if you want  to go to dinner with you, don't come right out and ask  to join you. Ask  if 'd rather eat tacos, sushi, ribs or frozen TV dinners. The basic technique is to give  more choices and hence more chances to say yes to what you want.When you are trying to influence , realize that the chances of getting what you want from  are indeed slim. However, you might get little bits and pieces out of  by chipping away at  incredible obstinacy. This technique requires that you first ask for something totally outrageous and then settle for something that approximates what you really want. For example, say that  is your spouse and you want  to watch your kid while you go out. Begin by asking  to book a reservation for Junior and at Disneyland for the weekend. When  says no, ask  about taking Jr. for a trip to the zoo, and after mentioning how  is causing psychological harm to the child out of pure negligence, settle for a couple hours of babysitting time.CmKSX^f7nNwCmKSX^f7nNwCmKSX^f7nNwCmKSX^f7nNwCmKSX^f7nNwCmKSX^f7nNwCmKSX^f7nNwCmKSX^f7nNwCweE GH"I's public image can be a little disconcerting because 's an uneven performer. Some of the time  does great. Other times it's hard for  to keep  head above water.  frequently gets stuck on some task or strong emotion, which both stifles  productivity and disrupts  sense of balance. Usually those who are close to  tend to suffer right along with .Many people tend to underestimate  because  public personality can be so deceptive.  appears fairly quiet and shy, but without any warning  might show daredevil colors. You may be surprised to learn that  parachutes or hang glides as a hobby or that  is an effective public speaker, because  is often silent and withdrawn. Don't take what you see at face value with , as 's one to pull a few surprises.You might occasionally catch  with a dreamy, faraway look on  face.  tends to be unrealistic when it comes to life and may even delude with false optimism.  often has plans for one thing or another, but these may not get off the ground. Sometimes, with just a little effort, these dreams could be turned into reality, but determination and persistence seem to elude  at every corner.'s public image is one of many contradictions. You may never be quite sure about . Is  outgoing or not? Is  attractive or not? Is  interested or not? These people have many public faces. Depending on which one you are looking at, you are apt to see a very different person.When you talk with , you are likely to come away with the feeling that the lines of communication somehow got crossed. Yet you won't be able to pinpoint anything that  said or didn't say as the precise source of the problem. You'll just have a sense that something has gone awry.  tends to have a subtle awkwardness about , as if  weren't trained to follow the same rules of social interaction as everyone else.KSMNP+RYou don't have to dig deep into 's private self to experience one of  chief characteristic, loyalty. It's well-known amongst  family and employers.  internal code of honor guides  life. Although  does not easily take others into  confidence, once  gives someone  trust  rarely takes it back. Unless, for instance,  catches that person in a blatant lie. Then the fireworks will fly!  may be loyal, but 's no gullible fool.Sometimes you might think that  is wearing a vest made of kryptonite to prevent others from seeing through to  private self.  can be an enigma even to those who are close to , and that is just how  likes things to be.  enjoys being perceived as interesting or mysterious and delights in making out-of-the-blue statements.  loves to leave people scratching their heads in puzzlement.'s inner self is often in a state of flux. One minute 's sensitive, the next 's uncaring or even angry.  can be cheerfully working at a steady job, paying  taxes, making new friends, and generally leading a stable life, but then all of a sudden 'll announce that 's dropping everything and leaving for Bora Bora. Or law school. Or the moon.  conservative, conventional side struggles against  impulsive, excitement-seeking side. is a person whose inner reserves amaze almost everyone  gets close to. Individuals like  are far tougher than most people ever imagine on first meeting them. They complete tasks that require far greater chutzpah than they are credited with possessing. And  manages to succeed in spite of the fact that  is not as socially sophisticated as a lot of other people in the world. is driven to take risks indirectly by associating with exciting people. Whether they are sky-divers or entrepreneurs,  seeks them out so that  can vicariously experience the excitement  is too timid to go after .  enjoys every minute of  interactions with such people, although afterwards  is often left feeling off-balance and a little bit out of touch with the real world.STUV,WHate is not too strong a word to describe 's feelings towards  enemies.  has an unusual capacity to remember bad experiences  has undergone at the hands of others.  nurses these past grievances and enjoys imagining how  would avenge them. hates feeling obligated to others. Having to return a favor places  in the awkward position of figuring out what another person might want or appreciate. And  has never been good at understanding the people around . detests people who go back on their word. To promise something and then renege is a serious crime in  eyes. So watch your step if you ever decide to double-cross . Regardless of how easy-going  may appear,  doesn't take being cheated lightly. is annoyed when other people take credit for  accomplishments.  doesn't want to take a back seat to anyone, even though  isn't much of a socializer. More than one person has lost 's friendship without even knowing why. The worst thing you can do is not give  credit where credit is due. dislikes people who are socially smooth. Try as  might,  can't quite get  social skills to the point where  can impress or persuade others.  dislikes and secretly envies people with the unfair advantage of being glib.XYV[?\ J]: loves a quick thrill more than most people around. Surprisingly, 'd rather experience it in private and think about it when  is with other people.  enjoys the idea of keeping secrets from the people who  is closest to. loves having social relationships with members of different races, creeds, and colors. It is a point of pride with  that  is an open thinker not saddled with everyday prejudices.  will probably deny it, but it is likely to be a peak experience for  to appear in public with such a person. It gives  a feeling of quiet pride to rise above the pettiness of "ordinary" people. loves to gain mastery over inanimate objects like typewriters, computers, and cars. Even though  would deny it,  might be happier in a world of machines, where everything was exciting and innovative, yet still safe and logical. secretly enjoys spreading rumors about people and loves to uncover and disclose the flaws in their makeup.  may even think about using such information against people who have made  angry or slighted  in some way.  delights in fantasizing about revenge. would love to be widely acknowledged for  skills and abilities.  works so much harder than most and has so many talents that it seems unfair to  that the world doesn't appreciate  in the fullest sense. If only  had the luck and the good breaks that others seem to get, 'd be on top of the world.^'_a>cv~de=NOTE: In some cases these fantasies will not be conscious to  or evident to those around . This restricted fantasy pattern is apt to exist when either  partner or  environment is overly inhibited. In these cases the fantasy may only be elucidated under hypnosis or sodium pentathol.WARNING: Dr. Shrink is perfectly aware that both the rater and the ratee will probably disagree with this section of the report. In similar situations most people "say" that this section is wrong. Remember, however, that the doctor is an excellent clinician who has no reason to lie. Many inhibited raters and ratees do have reason to deny this type of fantasy. Sometimes you can tell whether they are being honest by checking carefully for blushing, an unusual speech pattern, or by a change in breathing.WARNING: The following analysis should be viewed with caution in those extreme cases where the rater has adopted an alternate sexual lifestyle or where  is unusually repressed in  thinking about sex. In these cases the rater will say that Dr. Shrink is wrong.  will never admit that  is just a lousy rater.CAUTION: Do not read the following section unless you are a mature and open-minded adult. Dr. Shrink learned many years ago that people who are not psychologically minded reject any analytic statement about sex that is outside the bounds of traditional, conservative thinking. So they will naturally reject the following interpretation and tell the world that it is false.WARNING: The following section contains sexually explicit material that offends many people. Please read no further if you fall into this group. Dr. Shrink has found that such people defend themselves psychologically by denying the accuracy of any personal statement about sex.WARNING: Uptight people always deny the accuracy of any statement about sex. Sex causes them great anxiety. This leads them to bad-mouth the good doctor's report by saying that it is not accurate. If you are uptight sexually, don't read the following material. We will all be happier. Nobody wants to hear a denier.fhmjQjkPl} has a secret interest in other people's sex lives.  delights in discovering the most intimate details of what went on between whom and virtually conducts an inquisition until  finds out everything.  is apt to secretly fantasize about being invisible so that  can watch what people are doing behind their bedroom doors. Part of the excitement is sharing what  finds out, especially the interesting sexual quirks, with  friends. has a hidden desire to surrender to the will of someone famous.  probably gets turned on at the thought of having sex with an individual who is unattainable and, in the long run, unavailable. The more notoriety this person has achieved the better. Typically the object of  fantasy doesn't even know  or has no idea about the depths of  sexual crush.Secretly  is turned on by an older partner, one who has accumulated money, power, or both. Usually  is eager to submit to the whims of a more experienced lover in hopes of extracting a positive opinion of  performance. Sexually  tends to be interested in mentor relationships with people who simultaneously protect and instruct. is excited by the fantasy of being a slave to  partner, and may yearn to be forced to wait on  lover while wearing nothing more than a dog collar. And  wants  master to give  sexual orders as well as household ones. 's dream fantasy ends with  partner making wild, passionate love to  while  is tied to a bed. may secretly feel  is missing out on a lot in the bedroom.  keeps track of how many times 's had sex and worries that  isn't getting  fair share.  fantasizes about a partner who will awaken  innermost sexual desires. This can result in  thinking about different sexual liaisons, in search of the perfect partner. Usually, however, these dreams end badly.OnSp>rtMaking friends with  will take some extra effort on your part, as people like  tend to be somewhat shy in social settings and awkward in interpersonal relationships. It is not that they mean to be difficult, but rather that they have trouble getting conversations to flow smoothly. There are likely to be too many silences, too many pauses, and too few times when  appears comfortable interacting with you. All of this makes it hard for  to sustain a friendship. But if you persist and accept  behavior,  can become a good friend just by your willingness to spend time with .The best technique for making friends with this kind of person is to take the lead in setting up times when the two of you can get together. This is not as easy as it might sound, because  may well turn down over half of your invitations. It's not that  necessarily has other plans, but rather that  prefers to keep to . Don't be put off when  doesn't reciprocate and invite you out. Just persistently initiate get-togethers in a relaxed, non-threatening manner.  will appreciate your acceptance and will eventually find it easy to spend time with you.When trying to start a friendship with , keep in mind that people like  have a tendency to enjoy stimulating or high risk situations. In fact, the best way to start off a friendship with  is to invite  to participate or observe some exciting or unusual event. It could either be going to an amusement park or visiting a bar that is on the seedy side of town. Just don't ask  to go the beach, unless you first insist upon seeing the movie "Jaws".Going beyond a surface friendship with  will probably be difficult.  is the kind of person who seems as if  could be a good friend, but who does not appear to have close relationships with anyone. In fact, although you may have an enjoyable time when you do go out with , you may come away with the feeling that  hasn't contributed much of to the interaction. It's not that  doesn't talk, but rather that  doesn't say anything that hints at who  really is. To develop a stronger relationship with , you must be capable of accepting the role of intellectual and social superior.  will probably be delighted to support, defend and promote you.lwz"}NIf a side effect of agreeing with you is the opportunity for  to hob-nob with the big shots in  area,  won't put up much of a fight. For example, tell  that if  joins the health club,  will be exercising with the leaders of the community and will have the chance to really get to know them. Or casually ask if  knows that the owner is Mr. Big Shot. Tell  how the owner likes to become personally involved with all the club members. Always keep in mind that people like  are changeable and somewhat unpredictable, so whenever possible, do not let them have time to think things over. Make them take immediate action and tell them about drawbacks later. Say that you knew you could count on 's support even before you had a chance to talk things over in detail.Winning  over to your way of thinking may be more difficult than it first appears. People like  are changeable individuals who have great difficulty staying on course. Thus, even if you persuade them, the effect of your efforts may be short lived. Shortly after you convinced  to do something,  may for no apparent reason, change  mind and do just the opposite!  believes very strongly in  right to do as  sees fit, even if it is contrary to previous commitments. The only course to take is to help  stick to  guns by continually reminding  of what  has agreed to do and how it will be beneficial for  to follow through.Persuade  by preventing  from taking time out to think. Milk  occasional impulsivity for all its worth. For example, to keep  from doing something you are opposed to, throw up a smoke screen to distract . But make sure your distraction is large enough to draw  attention away from doing that which you disapprove. Or if you want  to agree with something you wish to do, go ahead and do it, and tell  later, then casually mention it and say that you didn't think  would mind. If  becomes upset, point out that it was really no big deal and you simply didn't want to bother  with something that was so inconsequential.Try to reassure 's self-worth whenever your goal is to influence  actions. If  begins to have doubts and fears about  abilities, expect  to revert to very unpredictable behavior. Or even worse,  could become adamant in  refusal to do what you want. Plan your persuasion so that part of it results in making  feel good about . Straightforwardly mention the advantages of doing things your way and seize every opportunity to praise  wise and insightful decision-making skills. Although  may not give in fully,  will at least feel at ease enough to listen to you if  is not preoccupied with worry over  inadequacies.When it seems as if you have tried everything to get  to do what you want, use a threat. But apply it very carefully and only after you have given other persuasion techniques a chance. Threats should only be made if you feel that the importance of getting your way outweighs any potential negative consequences.  can be very sensitive when it comes to perceived danger or loss and  may blow up if you are too heavy-handed. Better to be as subtle as possible with your words, but use the right tone of voice to convey the message. Above all else, never make a threat unless you are prepared to follow through with it. Remember that you have now moved into the arena of playing hardball, and  is no easy mark.vıvıvıvıvıvıvıvıņ̈b.M{w is a person who faces the world with a smile. The best way to describe  is well balanced: no ups and downs, no emotional scenes, nothing weird or unusual. 's just your straightforward, neighborly sort of individual.  "live and let live" motto dictates how  relates to others, and most people appreciate  for it.  frequently finds in the role of being a good sport.  is somewhat of a traditionalist, preferring those things in life that are "tried and true" over those that are uncertain.Your first reaction to  is likely to depend on the situation in which you meet . If 's a member of an opposing group, you probably won't like . However, if 's your new neighbor, you're apt to think that 's just great. People like this are so normal and adjusted that they become integrated with whatever situation they find themselves in.Practical and down-to-earth, 's public image demonstrates that  is on the ball.  talks straight and is honest about  likes and dislikes.  takes adaptability to new heights, being able to fit in with both intellectuals and blue-collar folks. And  rarely puts on airs or considers to be anything more than  is.You can be sure that whatever image  presents in public is for real and not a facade behind which  real personality hides.  tends to be respectful of authority and traditions and prides on being fair and just. When there is a decision to be made,  will weigh the pros and cons before taking action. Usually  chooses the most practical, rational solution. may have the public image of a chameleon.  changes colors as necessary to blend into  environment. If  friends work hard and accept life as it comes,  will too. But if they are unhappy or chronically complaining, even their negative moods may influence . Strangely enough, even with this changeable nature,  remains fairly consistent when it comes to  inner emotions and values.mxrz is probably one of the few individuals living who presents  real self for all the world to see. On first meeting , most people get the impression of a pleasant, approachable individual who is optimistic about life working in just the right way. You can count on  to be your pal and to accept you just as you are. Like a good neighbor,  will be there.What you see is what you get with .  is a pleasant, likable person who fits in well with most situations because  knows how to get along with people. If  ever does get upset, angry, or mad, you can be fairly sure that  is reacting appropriately to some upset in  environment and is not just being temperamental. Any such reaction is likely to go away once the problem is solved.'s public image hints at  underlying emotional resilience.  can make a comeback from the sort of misfortune that would have most people contemplating suicide.  doesn't let get bogged down in black moods, preferring to figure out some way to regain a fresh perspective. 's ability to stay emotionally balanced makes  a good partner in almost any venture.You are likely to see  doing things for those who are close to .  enjoys having the respect of others. But although  wants to have friends, 's far from being obsessed or preoccupied with what other people think of .  is comfortable being in  own skin and would not want to trade places with anyone.  gives everyone a fair chance to be  friend. seems to have cornered the market on one essential commodity: common sense. Other people use their intelligence to dream up new ideas or processes, but  is happy just hitting the nail on the head with  straightforward approach to things. And  advice can be deceptively simple.  is one of the most reasonable yet sharp individuals that one is likely to come across.6ٚoIs  really as normal and stable as  appears in public? Yes! Even more than most could imagine. Unfortunately, however, this normalcy leaves  with almost no special needs or characteristics to drive  forward, and  tends to rely on external circumstances to get  stirred into action. Most people would be surprised to find out how dependent  is on others for  motivation.Don't confuse the fact that  is very likable with any thoughts about  depth of character. The reason  is so likable is that  makes fit in wherever  goes. And  fits in because  agrees with people, and this, it turns out, is the key to understanding 's private self. Underneath it all  has learned one simple skill well. First and foremost, try to agree with the people around you.You don't have to look hard to find out what is going on in 's private self. All you have to do is ask. Usually it involves a concern about what  is going to do for entertainment that night or where  friends are. Don't expect to discover any deeply held secrets or emotions, unless of course there are some that  knows are important to you. In that case  may tell you what  thinks you would like to hear.'s innermost secret isn't much of a secret but is, nevertheless, hard to believe. Although most individuals play so many roles throughout their lives that they lose sight of who they really are, this rarely happens to . All  has to do is check with  friends or neighbors to confirm  personality. And if that doesn't work, the averages from the national census will tell  everything  could possibly want to know.The foundation of 's private self is  inner sense of tranquility. This feeling serves  well in almost everything  does, and the only time  loses it is when  allows  inner self to be unduly influenced by the moods of others. But these disruptions last only as long as  is around other people.  returns to a moderate emotional state very quickly.>Ң dislikes extremes and carefully avoids the highs and lows of emotions. You won't routinely find  provoking arguments, being chronically depressed, or acting recklessly.  usually keeps  emotions carefully under control. seldom feels true hate, but when  does get angry,  probably only hates what everybody else does. For example,  may have a strong dislike for the Ayatollah Khomeini, Colonel Khaddafi or other currently unpopular public figures.  is not a person of strong intractable feelings.  might change  feelings quickly, for instance, if the United States signed a peace treaty with Iran. probably hates being different and  doesn't like feeling separate from those people in  life who are important to . 's usually happy following the wishes of the crowd and blending right into the mainstream of life.  doesn't like being put in a position where  is asked to support an unpopular view. dislikes conflicts with others.  does not enjoy being forced to confront anger, either  own or someone else's.  rarely rocks the boat and usually tries to end disagreements before they escalate. If this tactic fails, then 'll probably withdraw from the scene. dislikes the thought of moving to a new town or starting a new job. It would be nice to be upwardly mobile, if  didn't have to stray too far from  own backyard. However, if  were forced to make a radical change in  life,  would probably find a way to cope.ѤƦ" enjoys people who are just like : friendly and stable. Living and working around such people not only helps  to maintain  even-handed perspective towards life, but also adds to  self-confidence.Practicality is very important to . For instance,  is more likely to buy something if it is useful or durable, and 's certainly one to avoid that which is out-of-the-ordinary.  tries to maintain  basic level-headedness in every aspect of  sojourn through life. loves to receive encouragement from others. A little praise goes a long way in getting  motivated and keeping  energy level high. Both attention and approval from others help  to maximize  abilities and talents. likes being a good citizen, probably showing support for  school, town and country.  is happy when  team is champion, when  votes for the person who is elected president, or when the record  buys hits number one on the charts.  thoroughly enjoys exercising  good taste. would probably like to work for the same company for the rest of  life, although  may not be one to admit it.  is the kind of person who fantasizes about being married, having 2.4 kids, owning a currently popular breed of dog, and driving a fully-equipped station wagon. You might even find  participating in neighborhood block parties, mowing the lawn, or barbecuing on the weekends.'>vp=NOTE: In some cases these fantasies will not be conscious to  or evident to those around . This restricted fantasy pattern is apt to exist when either  partner or  environment is overly inhibited. In these cases the fantasy may only be elucidated under hypnosis or sodium pentathol.WARNING: Dr. Shrink is perfectly aware that both the rater and the ratee will probably disagree with this section of the report. In similar situations most people "say" that this section is wrong. Remember, however, that the doctor is an excellent clinician who has no reason to lie. Many inhibited raters and ratees do have reason to deny this type of fantasy. Sometimes you can tell whether they are being honest by checking carefully for blushing, an unusual speech pattern, or by a change in breathing.WARNING: The following analysis should be viewed with caution in those extreme cases where the rater has adopted an alternate sexual lifestyle or where  is unusually repressed in  thinking about sex. In these cases the rater will say that Dr. Shrink is wrong.  will never admit that  is just a lousy rater.CAUTION: Do not read the following section unless you are a mature and open-minded adult. Dr. Shrink learned many years ago that people who are not psychologically minded reject any analytic statement about sex that is outside the bounds of traditional, conservative thinking. So they will naturally reject the following interpretation and tell the world that it is false.WARNING: The following section contains sexually explicit material that offends many people. Please read no further if you fall into this group. Dr. Shrink has found that such people defend themselves psychologically by denying the accuracy of any personal statement about sex.WARNING: Uptight people always deny the accuracy of any statement about sex. Sex causes them great anxiety. This leads them to bad-mouth the good doctor's report by saying that it is not accurate. If you are uptight sexually, don't read the following material. We will all be happier. Nobody wants to hear a denier.{];X'>'s sexual fantasies depend on what is in vogue with  peer group.  is likely to be turned on by whatever is currently in style or enjoying popularity.  tends to prefer platonic relationships with most members of the opposite sex, getting sexually involved with only those who share a common bond. 's kinkiest fantasy is likely to be renting X-rated movies for  VCR.'s fantasies are less concerned with the deep-seated passions of sex than they are with love and friendship. Sure  knows that sex is fun, but it is not always the consuming, passionate, intense experience that the movies and TV would have you believe.  prefers to have  feet planted firmly on the ground and to keep sex in proper perspective. In fact,  may occasionally view sex itself as foreplay for the main event: smoking a cigarette or talking with  partner. is likely to have a healthy sex life and to suffer from few hang-ups, frustrations, and repressions. Although it may not seem very liberated,  has seldom has a desire to engage in anything other than normal lovemaking. However,  usually goes along with any suggestions  partner makes, provided that things don't get too out of hand. is an easy lover to please.  usually maintains a straightforward attitude when it comes to sexual fantasies.  love relationships tend to be based on companionship rather than sex, and what  and  partner do outside the bedroom is likely to be as important as what they do inside it.'s sex life is easily affected by the events going on around . If 's just had an argument with someone or is under a great deal of stress, it is may be almost impossible to get  into the mood. However, if 's had a particularly good day,  will probably have a pretty good night as far as lovemaking goes. :DE is an easy person to get to know and to be friends with if you are a natural part of  environment (e.g., live in the same neighborhood, work with , belong to the same club). People like  are usually liked by everybody and are active members of any groups to which they belong. In fact, they identify so closely with those around them that their personality sometimes even mirrors the persona of the group as a whole. So work to be a part of  environment if you want to be  friend.To make friends with , you need only concern yourself with joining  group and doing the things that they like to do. Don't expect  to venture off with you too far beyond the regular haunts of  friends.  is a loyal group member and you'll have to stick with the crowd in order to make friends with .Whether or not you make friends with  will be determined largely by proximity. Once you get yourself into the same group, neighborhood, or job as  is most of the battle is over. People like  are good-natured individuals who are as easy to be around as they are to make friends with. They like people and are bound to like you if you make an effort. Remember, however, that  won't wander far from  natural group. So unless you start the ball rolling, it is unlikely that you two will become friends.You won't even have to try to become friends with .  will probably approach you first. And even if  doesn't, just use a routine conversational icebreaker about the weather or the latest news happening and you're on your way. Then move your conversation over to something more personal, like  job. Most people like  enjoy talking about their work or favorite hobbies. 'll be responsive if you engage  with friendliness.You can start a friendship with  by taking  into your confidence around some mutually relevant issue. It might be a problem that you are having with someone or trouble at work. Pull  over to the side and begin by saying that you trust  judgment and would like  advice on an issue that is causing you distress.  will be all ears, and although  advice may not be particularly on target, you will have made yourself a good friend.BF2 Consider the use of subtle pressure to persuade . Play on the fact that  wants to be a part of things by intimating that failure to take your position could cause  to be excluded from an important group. Suggest that doing as you propose will lead to love and admiration from others around . Another method that works well with this type of person is to use the principle of social proof. According to this principle, most people determine the correct social behavior in a given situation by looking around to see what everyone else is doing. To apply this principle, claim that your position is the most popular or tell  that it is the favorite of everyone in  immediate group.The best way to persuade  is to make a strong appeal to the values of  peer group,  religion, accepted authority figures, and the social good. People like  are most often influenced by endorsements from opinion leaders in a group and they actually read testimonials to see what is happening. In marketing parlance,  is society's middle adopter.  thinks and does what others in  group are thinking and doing. Use this information to persuade  to do what you want. Don't ever try to convince  by using an appeal that your approach is "new and different." belongs to the group of people that is easiest to persuade. While almost any positive approach will work, methods that rely on social proof are likely to be the most productive. For example, a typical argument to get them to vote for a Republican would be "The American people are really becoming conservative. Everyone we know is voting Republican this election." A strong variation on this approach is to suggest that the opposing viewpoint is out of fashion. You might say, for example, "Nobody believes in pure behaviorism any more. Even Skinner's views have softened."One technique that is likely to have positive results in persuading  involves making an appeal to authority. For instance, you might refer to the President's energy conservation program in asking  to turn down  air conditioner. In a similar fashion, persuasion methods that involve identification with friends or people  admires are apt to be successful (e.g., Hulk Hogan eats this cereal or Liz Taylor uses this perfume). With any of these methods, remember to play on 's need to be liked and to be part of the overall group.Always remember to keep 's current expectations in mind. Find a way to tie the desired position or action to an appealing reward and the undesired position or action to a punishment. If you are trying to get  to work for you for free, convince  of the fun 'll have and remind  of how bored 'd be if  weren't doing it.  is first and foremost a responder to  environment. So make sure you line up the related rewards, as well as the related people issues, to conform with the goal of your persuasion.:\J :\J :\J :\J :\J :\J :\J :\J loU0If there's one message that 's public image communicates to the world, it's "Here I am, come and get me."  broadcasts this invitation through gestures, voice, style of dress, choice of friends, whatever.  object is always the same: give me attention.  enjoys it more than most people would imagine.  is often perceived as a social butterfly whose every action invites others to engage . fosters the image of being a solid citizen.  is a pleasant individual who is well liked by those at work as well as by  neighbors. Some even describe  as socially upstanding and patriotic.  is concerned about doing the right thing for  environment as well as for  fellow .  is responsible and dependable in most of  dealings with others. never underestimates the importance of a first impression.  wants to put  best foot forward, so  generally dresses neatly and carries with authority.  knows that other people are looking at  and  behaves accordingly.  rarely forgets  manners and looks forward to demonstrating  well-rehearsed social skills. is generally "up" for being in the public view and thrives while in the limelight. Occasionally  may choose to withdraw, preferring instead to shut away from others for a short time. Although  appears attractively uninhibited, don't let this fool you. Attention is  sustenance. This is obvious in  public interactions as well as in  appearance.  enjoys being remembered in the minds and hearts of  friends.It isn't hard to overhear 's conversations relating the details of  recent doctor visit. Whether it was a trip to the dentist, physician, podiatrist or local hospital emergency room, you'll get most of the details. You may be surprised to hear  go into every physical symptom, if  can manage it without appearing unrefined. If there's someone willing to listen,  may even go through an extensive list of all the "cures"  has tried. Although none have really worked,  has an endless supply of material to share.Obk)7- In day to day situations it's easy to notice . People find themselves naturally drawn to , and  seems to "click" with almost everyone. And for good reason.  can be charming and very persuasive.  has a real knack for making friends and can tactfully handle the most difficult personalities, turning them into devoted fans.'s public self propels  into a leadership role in whatever group strikes  fancy. For example,  might be club president or department manager.  organizational talents abound and  is very popular with authority figures while 's moving in high gear. And  is surprisingly fair. If  had 100 close friends, all of them would be treated the same.If there ever was a caricature of a Yuppie, it would be . One can imagine  driving around in a BMW or Honda, sporting the Ivy League look, and talking about the latest, undiscovered restaurant, club or vacation spot.  public image suggests that  dreams of wealth, influence or prestige.In public  appears to be authoritive and in control.  social endeavors can prove to be most productive and  output astonishing, as  effectively channels  nervous energy towards fruitful ends.  is a true ladder climber, so don't be surprised when you see  advance rapidly at work or in school.After meeting  for the first time, you are likely to be left with the impression that  is bound for success.  has all the right ingredients: intelligence, charm, and personality. It's hard to imagine  doing poorly in anything, and in fact  rarely fails. And if that isn't enough,  is likely to be interested in athletics to boot. Even if  doesn't participate in sports ,  is a fan of recreational activities of many types, giving  plenty of common ground for initiating interesting conversations.XdConcealed underneath 's public image may be the beginnings of an ulcer. Most people enjoy being noticed by others, but  wants attention to the degree that sometimes  becomes upset and even ill if  doesn't get noticed by others. Although  health is generally good,  tends to have an ongoing interest in physical ailments and may become somewhat hypochondriacal when under stress.Although you may never know it, and  may go to incredible lengths to hide it,  inner self is bounded by traditional beliefs. The key to  psyche is understanding that it would take a very unusual set of circumstances to force  into stealing, lying, or cheating. If  did succumb,  would be stricken with such guilt that 'd have to find some way to atone for  actions.You probably aren't going to believe the real truth about 's private self. Like many people who know , your expectations are likely to be too high because  tends to be popular and engaging. In fact,  behavior is sometimes influenced by some rather self-serving needs. In most instances,  would rather receive than give. And  usually prefers being the object of adoration to being the one who adores.Underneath 's public image lies a strong need to be admired and loved by those around .  enjoys being noticed in the form of compliments, praise and anything at all flattering. If  does not get this attention,  may feel frustrated and upset. Or  might even get a headache or an upset stomach. Few people like  are able to express their unhappiness directly and instead resort to passive-aggressive behaviors, such as forgetting a date or burning dinner. is highly motivated to achieve a position of social authority. A typical job for individuals like  is that of high school principal.  desire for conventional success makes  a person who would thrive in traditional organizations and someone whom co-workers might describe as a "manager's manager."  wants to be looked up to as a leader of others, and  tends to succeed as long as  can maintain  energy and enthusiasm.}ug&Being excluded from an activity or a group causes  great distress.  hates to be on the outside looking in and gets mad when ignored by others.  may get very upset if  misses an important social event. dislikes being seen looking anything but good. While  may not be the greatest dresser, it's rare that you'll ever see  looking messy, sloppy, or unattractive. 's usually conscious of making a positive impression on the rest of the world. dislikes making a mistake more than anything else in the world. It is as though  will be punished severely for any mistakes that  makes and is just waiting for the ax to fall. Consequently,  will go to great lengths to avoid errors. usually dislikes giving up control to a peer. Secretly,  has a strong need for power over others.  fears making mistakes and worries that foul-ups will happen if  is not in control. doesn't like feeling the slightest bit ill and prefers to go to bed rather than face a day feeling sick. Good health and physical fitness are important to .,0 secretly enjoys being on the receiving side of most relationships. Usually the more you give  the better, be it material or emotional. But  tends to be a hard person to please because  need for attention is rarely satisfied. loves being dramatic.  enjoys turning everyday events into special occasions. When  is in this mood, almost everything  says or does comes out larger than life. Without even much of an effort,  makes the world seem brighter and better.Secretly  likes to flirt and to be flirted with more than most people you will ever meet. Just let an attractive person look  way and  will usually respond with encouragement. But don't make more out of  behavior than is really there, because with , the fun is likely to stop at flirting.Give  a sincere compliment and you'll have  eating out of your hand.  loves praise and may go to extremes in order to get it. Unfortunately, when  doesn't get all the attention  desires,  can become downright unhappy. secretly loves madras shirts, pull-over sweaters and college hang-outs. People like  tend to be preppies from the day they are born until the day they die, whether they admit it or not. They only depart from this persona when their environment won't allow them to indulge in their style of choice.2'YT>v=NOTE: In some cases these fantasies will not be conscious to  or evident to those around . This restricted fantasy pattern is apt to exist when either  partner or  environment is overly inhibited. In these cases the fantasy may only be elucidated under hypnosis or sodium pentathol.WARNING: Dr. Shrink is perfectly aware that both the rater and the ratee will probably disagree with this section of the report. In similar situations most people "say" that this section is wrong. Remember, however, that the doctor is an excellent clinician who has no reason to lie. Many inhibited raters and ratees do have reason to deny this type of fantasy. Sometimes you can tell whether they are being honest by checking carefully for blushing, an unusual speech pattern, or by a change in breathing.WARNING: The following analysis should be viewed with caution in those extreme cases where the rater has adopted an alternate sexual lifestyle or where  is unusually repressed in  thinking about sex. In these cases the rater will say that Dr. Shrink is wrong.  will never admit that  is just a lousy rater.CAUTION: Do not read the following section unless you are a mature and open-minded adult. Dr. Shrink learned many years ago that people who are not psychologically minded reject any analytic statement about sex that is outside the bounds of traditional, conservative thinking. So they will naturally reject the following interpretation and tell the world that it is false.WARNING: The following section contains sexually explicit material that offends many people. Please read no further if you fall into this group. Dr. Shrink has found that such people defend themselves psychologically by denying the accuracy of any personal statement about sex.WARNING: Uptight people always deny the accuracy of any statement about sex. Sex causes them great anxiety. This leads them to bad-mouth the good doctor's report by saying that it is not accurate. If you are uptight sexually, don't read the following material. We will all be happier. Nobody wants to hear a denier.z8g.G.u6Always the worried actor,  is apt be turned on by a mirrored bedroom.  enjoys admiring  body, but  sometimes gets too caught up in performing, forgetting about  partner. In  quest to be as attractive as possible, you are likely to find  joining a health club or getting massages and manicures.'s usual fantasies are likely to revolve around romance and courtship. 's always enjoyed traditional sexual turn-ons and rarely gets excited by more kinky deviations.  dreams of every sexual encounter having the same electric charge as the very first time  made love.  is the sort of person who may have had heavy crushes on  teachers in school. wants all roles to be clearly defined when it comes to sex. Who is dominant and who submissive has to be determined and agreed upon. Control appears to be a big issue in all 's affairs. Usually,  wants  partner to surrender to  every whim, all the while appearing to be chasing after .Although  partners may find it somewhat disconcerting,  likes to have normal conversations during sex. What  partners may not know, however, is that  has a deep and kinky hidden fantasy related to this behavior. Sorry, but you're on your own from here! Watch  blush when you ask about it. has fantasies about leaving a string of broken hearts behind .  enjoys having people fall in love with . And  would really get turned on if  many adoring fans phoned  and wailed about how they can't stand to live without . Unfortunately, a phone call is sometimes as exciting as  gets.lA'#It should be easy to make friends with  if you can fit yourself into  busy schedule.  is an active, sociable person who spends much of  life doing things with other people.  values friendships, so it is likely that  will respond enthusiastically to any social overtures you might make. However, be aware that  prefers to be the center of attention in any group of people that  finds involved in. So don't attempt to take too much of the limelight away from  or there could well be difficulties between the two of you. Also  tends to have a history of social leadership and will likely need to dominate the relationship  develops with you.To be friends with , it is necessary to accept  highly social nature and  need to spend much of  time with other people.  is unlikely to be the kind of person who is satisfied staying home alone and reading a book or watching TV, and you are deluding yourself if you think that you can turn  into a homebody.  loves to go out and it rarely matters where  goes, just as long as there are interesting people to talk to. Be ready to put on your dancing shoes and follow  from one event to another. And don't count on being home by midnight. If you want to get a friendship started, invite  to a party, a dinner, or other social event. Just don't make the mistake of inviting  for a solitary walk.Health, exercise and general sporting activities make good starting points for developing a friendship with . Find out if  plays golf or raquetball, attends sporting events such as football or tennis matches, or if  swims, jogs or does aerobics. Strike up a conversation around one of these areas of interest, or plan to "accidentally" run into  while  is engaging in  favorite sport. Suggest that the two of you take part in the activity together.Having an attractive appearance will draw  to you. Avoid frayed or dirty clothing at all times. You don't have to wear a blue suit, but you do have to present an image of a person who is well-groomed, neat and confident.  will be sizing up every aspect of your public image. Once  decides that you are the kind of person whom  wouldn't mind being seen with, 'll probably ask you to accompany  places. Even if you can't find an iron to press your clothes, be sure to wear a smile, as  generally likes friendly people.To become friends with , suggest that the two of you meet for a drink to discuss some topic of mutual interest. Once there, find something good to say to boost  ego. After about one hour of talking about ,  life experiences, the family dog or whatever, mention that you are out of time and would like to continue the discussion at some future point, perhaps in that cozy, little Italian restaurant down the road. As long as the conversation stays focused on  at least half of the time, you'll have no problems winning  friendship.h L x,G~Use a logical argument along with the fear of failure to prod  into doing your bidding. Even if they seem far fetched, point out any terrible, horrible and disastrous consequences that will transpire if  does not go along with you. For example, to persuade  to mow  lawn, tell  that dangerous snakes like tall grass and could hurt one of the neighborhood kids. Tell  that  is breaking a law and could be punished. Finish your proposal by subtly provoking guilt. Remind  of one favor you did for  and end your argument with something like "So you owe it to me..."The classic technique for persuading this type of person is to use the principle of reciprocation. For example, if you want to see a particular film, tell  that  chose the movie last time and now it's your turn. Or say that you agreed with  choice last time and now it is  turn to agree with yours. If you want  to buy you dinner, make sure to pay for the drinks or mention that you'll leave the tip. The key here is to obligate  to you, even if it is only in a very small way. Preferably  contribution will always be larger than yours. Once  "owes" you something, persuading  should be relatively easy.The key to influencing  is your ability to bring two major techniques into play. First, make sure that  sees  compliance as very low risk so that  fear of failure does not become a stumbling block in the process.  should be convinced that  has nothing to lose but everything to gain. Second, point out all the important authority figures who endorse or would go along with you if they had the chance. If for some reason you can not use an "appeal to authority", and the decision could, in fact, have certain negative consequences no matter how remote, then your only alternative is to promise to shoulder the blame in case things don't work out. Intimate to  that in the more likely event of success,  can take all the credit, because you have no interest in personal glory.The best approach to persuading this type of person involves a simple "appeal to authority." Individuals like  tend to have a strong internal system of controls to help them avoid making large mistakes. This system also prevents them from making many important and complex decisions. The best way around  built-in controls is to present your argument in a straightforward manner and to justify everything you say on the grounds that the appropriate authority supports it. If the appropriate authority does not approve or even exist, then you may need to absolve  from any unpleasant consequences that might occur as a result of  action. can be domineering so be prepared to argue when you are trying to persuade . If you are armed with the right strategies,  will not be able to control you unless you allow it to happen. One sure-fire strategy for persuading  is to cause a crisis. Show  how hard life will be for  if  doesn't go along with you. For example, suppose you want  to lose weight. Tell  you will stop all activities related to eating, i.e., cooking, shopping, going to restaurants, etc., until  makes some attempt to diet. The trick is to make  life as painful and difficult as possible until  tires and gives in to your demands. *17; DKU *17; DKU *17; DKU *17; DKU&! *17; DKU&! *17; DKU&! *17; DKU&! *17; DKU>RLIf you met  at a party, you'd be hard-pressed to name  outstanding qualities--and that is just the way  wants it. You'll rarely know what  is really feeling, as  cautiously keeps  cards close to  chest and covers up  real identity. But there may be a few situations in which  drops that mask, and if you are an intimate friend, you can probably get close enough to see  anxiety. Many things make this person nervous.'s public image is, for the most part, congruent with  hidden self.  does not present as the kind of individual that you might seek out in an emergency or when a crisis is imminent. Nor would you look toward  for decision-making or for directing others.  is a relatively shy, unassuming character who is better as a follower than as a leader, and is fairly satisfied with being just that.People such as this are the prototypic "wallflowers". Even when present, they are generally in the background, quietly working at some detailed task. They are known as self-sufficient, steady people who excel in areas such as bookkeeping, accounting, assembly work and tasks that don't require much significant communication. Despite  diligent efforts, 's work is often taken for granted and is seldom given the appreciation it deserves. is the sort of individual whom you might notice walking out of a movie at the first hint of violence or obscenity. Far from being a member of the moral majority,  just wants  world to stay harmonious and calm.  is very sensitive and becomes upset when  encounters too many negative emotions. The quiet life is the life for .If you look closely, you're likely to spot  on patrol. 's the person who surreptitiously empties ashtrays, takes glasses into the kitchen, picks up magazines and generally keeps things orderly.  thrives on having a place for everything and everything in its place. Messy, disorganized living disrupts  natural balance, and  is ready and willing to correct it. If  is a co-worker, just look at the top of  desk and you'll get a sense for  meticulousness.D!"$S& ^(In public situations  appears to have an orderly and competent mind, but that is only when  isn't struggling against the tides of  emotions. Sometimes  is gripped with great insecurity and begins to doubt  abilities. But once  gets going,  is often surprised to realize that 's quite capable and that others truly respect  talents. In general,  is thorough and competent in whatever task  attempts. has the interests of a philosopher even though  may labor quietly at a routine job.  leaders tend to be thinkers such as Eric Hoffer, who worked as a stevedore, and Einstein, who while unrecognized worked as a customs clerk. This aspect of  personality may be only unconsciously apparent to those around . If you are close to , you might recall the slightly superior way  sometimes looked at people. This is likely to be the only clue  public self offers.You are likely to observe  working hard but remaining in the background of things. In fact, 'll probably contribute more than some of  more visible counterparts.  keeps to by choice and it is not unusual for others to take credit or get recognition for work that  has performed. Although  may never be a star,  always performs well, and knowing that, is happy.If there ever were a job in which you could discover the true personality of , it would be that of a researcher. Give  a quiet cubicle, a university library card, and an obscure or technical subject to explore, and 'll be happy.  enjoys all kinds of information and gets a kick out of playing with data. However, if the job demands excellent communication skills and the ability to stay calm under pressure,  is out of  element.  is happiest when left alone to pursue  interests in  own ivory tower.'s public persona reveals  inner drive to succeed, as you may see  tackling difficult tasks with a great deal of energy and long hours. But  doesn't expect much in the way of external rewards, focusing instead on  inner need to prove .  continually labors under the thought that  doesn't measure up to  own potential and to those around , but these very insecurities also propel  to excellence.(*+=-bf.0The key to figuring out 's private self is to understand that  carries the weight of the world upon  shoulders.  is concerned with the idea that life rarely seems to come up roses. Reading all kinds of motives into your actions,  may even conclude that you believe  to be worthless, no matter what you might say to the contrary.  most carefully guarded secret is fear of almost everyone  meets.'s inner self tends to be characterized by deep seated fears. Usually these fears are hidden to such a degree that no one would ever guess they exist, until  reports that  had "trouble" sleeping. The only telling sign that you might observe is how very hard  works to stay away from people  does not know.Don't confuse 's quiet demeanor with an easy acceptance of things around .  is very vulnerable to the effects of change or confusion.  tends to organize  everyday environment in such a way as to reduce stress. Often the structure  imposes is adhered to even when it turns out to be counter-productive or causes interpersonal difficulties.'s private self is marked by  occasional dependency on others.  is prone to seek outside guidance for what  should or should not be doing. For instance, if you go out to dinner with ,  will probably ask what you intend to order. And if  doesn't follow your lead,  may very well ask you to choose something for .  tends to mistrust  own thoughts and secretly believes that other people know more than  does.When under extreme stress,  tends to become almost as fragile as glass. One high pitched noise and  may shatter into millions of pieces.  is the person Webster had in mind when writing the definition for the word "sensitive". Many things in life bother  or cause  worry, but most of  concerns are collected and bottled up inside.  rarely shares  private self with others because  fears rejection.12345: hates being forced to attend large noisy parties that go on into the night. The noise and the people tend to jangle  nerves and set  on edge. In addition,  worries that  will wake up in the morning and be tired all day tomorrow. seems to hate the unknown.  takes the safe and well-traveled road whenever possible, because  tends to be afraid of risking possible failure. In fact,  psyche can't stand facing too much complicated mystery.  prefers clarity in both  life and relationships.While some people thrive on pressure, deadlines, and change,  does not.  dislikes stressful situations because they cause  to feel as if  is coming unglued at the seams. All  usual efficiency and composure dissipates when quick decisions or actions are demanded of . hates emotional or intellectual conflicts with others. Instead of prolonging a verbal battle, 'd often rather give in and let the other person have the final say.  feels that very few things in life are worth arguing over. seems to hate interruptions in  daily routine and  counts on maintaining stability in  personal life and  work. When an element of change is forced on ,  tends to become upset and anxious.  may even need to take time out and go away until  regains  composure and restores  equanimity.77 88:; loves being inconspicuous.  tries hard to avoid standing out, and may even have developed a protective camouflage to blend in with  environment. More than you would ever imagine,  wants to be left alone. loves taking directions from others.  tends to become anxious when left to  own devices and feels better when someone else is in control. Being independent brings more responsibility and uncertainty than  cares to handle.Although  would deny it,  enjoys procrastinating.  feels compelled to inspect most issues from top to bottom, considering every detail, and usually postponing any real action.  derives a peculiar satisfaction from knowing that whatever  does,  does it right the first time. loves to curl up next to the fireplace with a cup of tea or hot cocoa and a really good book. In fact, this may be how  chooses to unwind after a hard day.  enjoys solitude and is likely to be content when left alone for hours on end. loves escapes like the forest, state park, the ocean or even a remote mountain. The solitude and privacy of nature allows  to reestablish peace with and  environment.;'=?>?@vAB=NOTE: In some cases these fantasies will not be conscious to  or evident to those around . This restricted fantasy pattern is apt to exist when either  partner or  environment is overly inhibited. In these cases the fantasy may only be elucidated under hypnosis or sodium pentathol.WARNING: Dr. Shrink is perfectly aware that both the rater and the ratee will probably disagree with this section of the report. In similar situations most people "say" that this section is wrong. Remember, however, that the doctor is an excellent clinician who has no reason to lie. Many inhibited raters and ratees do have reason to deny this type of fantasy. Sometimes you can tell whether they are being honest by checking carefully for blushing, an unusual speech pattern, or by a change in breathing.WARNING: The following analysis should be viewed with caution in those extreme cases where the rater has adopted an alternate sexual lifestyle or where  is unusually repressed in  thinking about sex. In these cases the rater will say that Dr. Shrink is wrong.  will never admit that  is just a lousy rater.CAUTION: Do not read the following section unless you are a mature and open-minded adult. Dr. Shrink learned many years ago that people who are not psychologically minded reject any analytic statement about sex that is outside the bounds of traditional, conservative thinking. So they will naturally reject the following interpretation and tell the world that it is false.WARNING: The following section contains sexually explicit material that offends many people. Please read no further if you fall into this group. Dr. Shrink has found that such people defend themselves psychologically by denying the accuracy of any personal statement about sex.WARNING: Uptight people always deny the accuracy of any statement about sex. Sex causes them great anxiety. This leads them to bad-mouth the good doctor's report by saying that it is not accurate. If you are uptight sexually, don't read the following material. We will all be happier. Nobody wants to hear a denier.'DEiBGIJ7No one would guess that behind the closed door of 's shy exterior there is likely to be great curiosity about sex. This interest may compel  to seek out information on special techniques or erotic gadgets and even to collect pornography. Whether all this knowledge ever leads to more or better sex probably depends upon the skill of  partner, because secretly  is the sort of person who took great security in  virginity.Although  might never act them out in real life, 's fantasies have a masochistic bent. 's not into pain, but gets turned on by the idea of being dominated.  fantasies may involve being held prisoner and submitting to someone's sexual desires. Masochism's special rewards for  are sexual pleasure without guilt and freedom from the fear of rejection. secretly worries about sexually-transmitted diseases. The thought of contracting herpes, AIDS, or even athlete's foot, for that matter, may terrify  to the degree that  is almost compulsively clean.  brushes  teeth frequently and may be a big fan of mouthwash or breath sprays. After having sex, 's likely to hop out of bed and into a hot shower.  will gladly take the responsibility for making sure 's engaging in very safe sex. can be a warm, sensitive partner as long as  manages to relax. Otherwise,  painful self-consciousness may short-circuit  sexuality.  may hold back emotionally and stop from totally letting go. Even when aroused,  may not allow to fully enjoy the experience. People like these are usually inhibited individuals who depend on their partners to bring out the best in them.Deep down inside,  may frequently find  mind dwelling on the fantasy of having sex with inanimate objects, such as dolls, dildos, and other sex shop gear. As soon as  realizes it,  tries to shut it out and distract . The problem is, try as  might to ignore it, this fantasy keeps coming back.KM4OQFTDon't be surprised if you find it hard to get to know .  is likely to be something of a loner who doesn't socialize easily and who doesn't trust the motives of many of the people around .  may feel nervous in the presence of others and in large groups. To make friends with , lead the way, but make sure that  feels at ease. Limit the amount of time the two of you spend together and always plan to meet on ground that is familiar to .To develop a friendship with , you will have to spend time with  and  alone. The two of you will have to collaborate on a task or simply share the same physical space for a while before  opens up. And this will probably never happen if there are many other people around to take part in your conversations. Also it is likely that you'll have to do most of the talking, so be prepared to carry the bulk of the conversation. However, once you get to know  and have gained  trust, it is likely that you will find  warm and interesting to be with.'s best friends tend to be the people that  has grown up with. Oddly enough, although  was acquainted with these individuals,  never really talked with them, until recently when  discovered that they shared an interest of  in a solitary pursuit, such as computers or gardening. After months of tentative conversation, a friendship slowly developed. If you want to be friends with , you must go slowly and look for common ground. Plan "chance" meetings over a shared interest.It's quite reasonable to begin friendships with  by discussing the trivial. As a matter of fact, your first dozen or so interactions should be kept on a very superficial level, and well removed from any personal issues. Dangerous topics include any issue that  has to choose sides on or express intimate feelings about.  is the sort of person who probably doesn't have strong opinions or if  does,  isn't likely to want to express them. Although many would consider such idle chatter to be a waste of time, it makes  feel comfortable and allows  to adjust to you.The best way to become a life-long friend of  is to find out what  is afraid of in life and then do your best to ameliorate  fears. It will take awhile before  is comfortable enough with you to actually discuss what worries  most, but once  opens up,  fears will come out in the open. Pick the easiest ones and try to solve them so  doesn't have to worry any more. Then tell  that you'll work on the others beginning next week.UXZVr\'^ is likely to require a detailed and logical presentation to enable  to make up  mind about things. If this is too difficult or impossible for you to do, remember that  tends to be responsive to arguments based on guilt, fear, or threats. The key to persuading  is to remember that  needs a quiet and controlled life to be happy, so make sure that whatever you want  to do will result in increased safety and security for . Explain that by not agreeing with you,  is opting for fear and confusion.Talk "inevitability" with . Tell  that sooner or later  is going to go along with your proposal, so  might as well make it sooner. If  acts now, detail the amount of stress and irritation that  will be spared. If  still hesitates, explain how agreeing with you is consistent with  previous behavior. Make it seem as if  acquiescence is just another step in a long sequence of related actions. By minimizing the newness of the behavior, you minimize chances that 's anxiety will mount and leave  unable to act.Use an indirect approach when trying to persuade . Make sure that  feels little or no pressure from you to act quickly. Allow  all the time  needs to carefully review the situation in a lengthy and detailed way. Since  final decision will be based on the effect of the outcome on  own self-interest, present your case carefully with an eye to how  alone will benefit. State your position as being nothing out of the ordinary and as consistent with all of  previous thinking. Use a structured, low-key approach towards  and make sure that whatever you say is based on logic. is apt to be difficult to persuade because  is somewhat indifferent to strong beliefs and to material things.  wants aren't nearly as strong as those of other people. The best hope you have of persuading  is to refer to how the action or opinion is in  own, solid best interest. The desired action or opinion also should be presented as trivial and unimportant so that  does not make it into something too big for  to handle. Present yourself as nice and find a way to emotionally support  while leading  down the garden path.People like  feel pressure to a greater degree than other people and can become overly nervous if placed under too much stress. Therefore, indirect approaches that do not involve apparent coercion are apt to be most effective in persuading them. One such technique is to couch your arguments in terms of the prevailing culture, government, or corporation. For example, you might say "This is IBM and you are expected to work hard and play hard." Or consider blaming a common enemy as the reason why  must comply with your wishes. Explain that if  goes along with you, not only will  come out ahead, but that the unfair company that fired  two years ago will suffer.