You deal a mighty blow, he flies from
his saddle and lands flat on his butt!
Your lance pierces his armor, you carry
him away dangling like a speared fish!
His horse stumbles, his lance hits the
earth and he pole vaults over your head.
Both your lances shatter from the mighty
impact, but you survive to charge again.
Your horse rears and you miss, but your
shield deflects the force of his blow.
You miss!  So does he!  You both stare
in awe and make the sign of the cross.
He strikes hard and your horse drops to
its knees, but you rise and turn again.
You are both unseated but your armor is
too heavy for swordplay, you try again.
You break wind in your armor and tears
come to your eyes.  He unseats you.
Your lance pierces his shield, but he
jerks free, pulling you from your mount.
Your charger rears, you fall backwards
helplessly squirming under your saddle.
You are distracted briefly by the wave
of a fair lover and thou art undone!
Thy opponent tells thee that thy fly
is open, and skewers you as you check.
Your armor pinches you in the groin and
you fall, screaming for a can opener.
You see that what he carries is not a
lance at all.  Fearing AIDS, you yield.
Your horse steps in a deposit he left
during the last charge.  You are down!
Your opponent concealed a cattle prod
in his lance and you fry in your armor.
Thy enchanted armor suddenly vanishes!
Naked, you hastily exit from the arena.
A sudden rain rusts thy armor shut. Thy
copper-clad adversary is victorious!
Too late, you discover that your lance
is a foot shorter than your opponent's.
Realizing that your opponent is three
times your size, you flee for your life.
Your opponent's lance misses, but his
Brahma Bull taketh out thy charger!
You find thou art jousting thy mother's
lover.  Chivalry bids thee to yield.
Thy opponent's halo blinds thee.  Thou
droppeth to thy knees in fervent prayer.
This is the man who found the holy grail
and you are no match for him.  You lose.