DESERT It is dry here, there is little food and no water. About you are scattered bones and bits of sandblasted armor. You had better find your way out soon. ~ SWAMP There are leeches and alligators here and snakes and other nasty things that make travel difficult. It takes you an extra move to get free from the mire. ~ FOREST You are in a dense but not impenetrable forest. Light filtering through the canopy lends an air of enchantment to the serenity of the gnarled old trees. ~ ROBINHOOD Suddenly an arrow pierces your pommel and a gay band of merry men (or is it the other way around?) swing down from the trees and invite you to dine with them. They refuse to take "No!" for an answer, so you enjoy a night of revelry and feasting with mead, boar and venison, until you are gorged and fall into a blissful sleep. When you awaken, you examine your purse and find ~ PLAINS Here in the plains there is abundant food and your enemies cannot surprise you. It is sometimes possible to get ahead of schedule on the paved roads. ~ MOUNTAINS The view from up here is magnificent but you must be wary of bandits who may be hiding amongst the rocks. You find shattered vials and other strewn debris. ~ LEADERFATE Your first official act shall be to decide the fate of the leaders amongst the peasants. If they are slain then there will be little insurrection, but productivity shall be reduced. If they are spared, you shall reap the full tax, but some of your guards may occasionally disappear. What wilt thou do? ~ WIZARD Your world suddenly vanishes from about you, and you find yourself spinning wildly as you fall into a deep abyss. Abruptly all motion stops, leaving you suffering from mental whiplash. Recovering rapidly, you find that you are in a dark cavern with water dripping from the shimmering stalactites. A warlock approaches dressed in robes of deep blue covered with images of stars, moons, and comets. On his head is a peaked hat of matching design. He studies you closely, and since you show no fear, he speaks. ~ THUGS Thou art in a darkened alleyway in the lesser known part of the marketplace. There are those around who would do thee dishonour, but the glint of torchlight upon the polished steel of thy half-drawn sword cause them to reconsider. To thy left are assembled a small band of highwaymen noted for their lack of scruples, and willing to sell their services to those who bear a grudge. On thy right stands a cutpurse, who seeks always to improve his lot in life. ~ DUEL1 Swinging your mace menacingly, you advance upon your enemy, and nearly strike a severe blow to the head. Thanks to a fortunate slip, only your opponent's ear is torn. Before recovering your balance, you find your mace tangled in the net. Soon the trident is forced to your throat and you must yield. ~ DUEL1A You move the mace in a wicked underhand arc intended to neuter your opponent, who throws the net at your feet and backs off, seemingly looking for a place to hide. You advance to teach the scoundrel a lesson, and realize too late that the cur hast retained hold upon a corner of the net and, with a mighty heave, entangles your legs, throwing you to the earth. Slashing with your dagger you nearly cut free, but as you begin to rise you feel the points of the trident upon your own groin, and quickly beg for mercy. ~ DUEL2 Obviously skilled with the sword, your opponent moves toward you deftly, and your mace seems suddenly to be a clumsy choice for a weapon. Skillfully using your dagger and your agility, you dance away from the keen edge until, moving so quickly you nearly dislocate your shoulder, you anticipate a quick thrust, and the head of your mace shatters your opponent's sword. Beating upon your enemy's shield unmercifully, the battle is soon ended. ~ DUEL2A Whirling your mace, you keep your opponent at bay, attempting to assess how best to approach. As your enemy begins to comprehend the timing of your swings and advances toward you, you suddenly release the mace, and it hurtles straight at your adversary's helm! Taking advantage of the moment, you sieze the varlet's sword arm as your dagger goes for the throat. Victory is yours! ~ DUEL3 You circle one another cautiously. The whirling mace hums menacingly as its shock wave troubles the still air. Your net is tangled, and you shake it clear. Interpreting this as a moment of advantage, your opponent charges in, only to find that the momentum of a mace is not inconsiderable. With your enemy off-balance, you toss away your net and thrust your trident into the pit of the arm which holds the mace. With a scream of anguish, your opponent quickly yields. ~ DUEL3A With the trident, you prod your enemy hoping that, in anger, a foolish move will be made, yet you are wary lest the mace loosen your brain from your own skull. Whirling the net over your head to spread it wide, you hurl it in a high arc, causing it to descend widespread over your enemy. The mace becomes trapped in the net, and your adversary moves to cut it free with the dagger, but with your trident poised an inch from your enemy's face, you soon put an end to the contest. ~ DUEL5 Keeping a close watch on the tip of your adversary's sword, you bunch up the net, preparing to toss it over sword and swordarm and, with a quick yank, suddenly disarm your enemy. The moment arrives and you fling the net, but you had not counted on the keenness of the blade, which severs the net as if it were a cob's web. You attempt to protect yourself with your trident, but your opponent's shield easily brushes it aside, and you must surrender. ~ DUEL5A Surprising your enemy by attacking suddenly, you rush in with the trident so there is no room for the sword to swing. Unfortunately, this renders both net and trident useless as well. While struggling with your adversary's sword arm, you feel a sudden sharp pain, and fall to the earth clutching your groin and praying that your nether regions are still in working order. ~ DUEL6 Advancing upon the enemy, you feel confident that the maneuverability of your sword will overcome the clumsiness of the mace, but thy opponent tricks thee! After detaching the ball from the chain, it is suddenly hurled at your face! Fending it to one side with your shield, you are then assailed with tortuous blows to your helm from the raw chain. Confused and startled, you trip over your spurs and, falling backward, find yourself at the mercy of your opponent. ~ DUEL6A Knowing that in experienced hands the mace can be a deadly weapon, you find yourself suddenly sobered at the thought of what could happen if you should make a mistake. Your life flashes before your eyes as you consider the fact that you might lose this contest, and you wonder if you have left enough gold for your aged mother and father to live upon in event of your death. Then you remember the lovers you have had, and wonder if you will ever see them again. Finally, you are attacked by guilt as you consider your past sins, wishing you could erase them and wondering if God in heaven can forgive you your trespasses. As your head clears and reality seeps in, you find yourself in the grasp of your laughing adversary. You have lost without ever raising your sword! ~ DUEL7 Your opponent hurls the net upon your sword arm, but thinking quickly you flip your sword into the air as you toss your shield into your adversary's face. Deftly catching your sword with your other hand, you assail your enemy mercilessly until you hear the whimpering rascal beg for mercy. ~ DUEL7A Twirling your sword as if it were a balsa plaything, you advance, pushing the enemy backwards with every step. Toying with your adversary, you wait until the varlet is thoroughly demoralized before mercifully walking in and taking the trident and net away as easily as taking candy from a baby. ~ DUEL7B As you psych up for battle, you are astounded to see the trident broken upon your adversary's knee. Wondering at this madness, your enemy smiles at you and begins dancing like a fool, kicking up one foot after the other upon the net, holding the broken handle of the trident in one hand and the points in the other. As you watch in awe, your canny opponent suddenly stabs you in the foot with the broken handle and presses the points beneath your breast plate. It takes a moment for you to realize that YOU are the one who has been played the fool, and you must yield or die. ~ DUELTIE Matched with equal weaponry, you strive valiantly for an advantage, but after wasting several hours upon the plain, you both agree to rest, and choose again from the armament. ~ FARMERS_DAUGHTER Feeling a bit giddy and somewhat overinflated with confidence, due no doubt to the excellence of the local wines and the envigorating hours spent with a comely farmer's daughter who accidentally wandered into the camp, you don your battle array and boldly gallop across the plains to the camp of ~ STRAPPING_FARM_LAD Feeling a bit giddy and somewhat overinflated with confidence, due no doubt to the excellence of the local wines and the envigorating hours spent with a strapping farm lad who accidentally wandered into the camp, you don your battle array and ride boldly across the plains to the camp of ~ SCORNED Your opponent scoffs at the meager offering, waving dismissal. You start to give chase, but your enemy's knights bar the way. Thine own guards will not interfere in an affair of honor, and your charming playmate secrets away. ~ TITTERING You hear a tittering from within thy opponent's tent, and from behind thee as well, where thy nubile plaything hast followed to watch thee in action. Flushing scarlet with anger, you lose control of your emotions, and blurt out ~ JOUST0 Alone in the plains, you carefully check your charger's trappings, and climb with difficulty into the saddle, there being no page to attend thee. After what seems an interminable wait, your adversary rides from the encampment. Your opponent's steed seems uneasy, and fretfully sidesteps in small jumps as he is guided into position. Finally all is ready, and you each raise your lances high in salute, then lower them menacingly at one another as you spur your chargers to the gallop. With a third of the distance traversed, you see your opponent's steed again misbehaving. Knowing that your enemy's unpre- dictable mount will never permit you a true target of your enemy's breast plate, you lodge the handle of your lance into your saddle, so that your lance juts out to the left as your ride. Your opponent, noticing only that the point of your lance is no longer directed forward, devotes full attention to the unruly charger. As you pass one another, your unwary opponent is quite surprised to be caught about the middle by your lance, which bends noticeably but does not break. Your opponent is whipped from the saddle into an undignified position astride a stack of accumulated fertilizer. ~ JOUST1 The heat inside your battle regalia seems unbearable, yet is offset by the unexpected chill of your armour's metal parts which briefly contact your skin as you fidget, transmitting the chill of the high-plains air to your body. At last your opponent leaves camp, seeming larger than life riding a charger of truly enormous size onto the plain. Lowering your visor, you aim your lance upward to compensate for the higher saddle of your foe. Your steed is anxious, so a slight touch of spur suffices to urge it to a thundering pace. Deftly catching the point of your enemy's lance on the guard of your own, with a twist of your forearm you cause it to glance aside while holding your own tip steady. Your adversary's face looks upon you with wide eyes which dim quickly as they are deposited in the hard earth behind the huge charger's hooves. ~ JOUST2 It seems that you have been here before. There is such a feeling of deja-vu that you could swear you know the terrain by heart. Suddenly, you recall a childhood outing with the offspring of a nearby baron, during which you and your friends sneaked away from camp in an attempt to capture a snipe. Re- calling the deep pit of dry, loose sand which nearly cost you your life at an early age, you move your charger so that the innocuous patch of sand will be directly in thy opponent's path as you make your first pass. Deftly guiding your charger to place yourself in the position of best advantage, you drive your lance into your opponent's gut as thy enemy's charger pitches forward in the loose sand. ~ JOUST3 Fitting the handle of your lance in its leather holder beneath your shoulder, you spur your charger onward, prepared with confidence to toss your enemy onto the plain, leaving the varlet with bruised buttocks that will be long remembered. But something goes wrong! Your enemy leans close to the saddle, thrusting the lance far ahead and leaving you little target. You find your- self lifted from your saddle and deposited ignominiously upon the hard earth of a local cow pasture. ~ JOUST4 Knowing your opponent is renowned far and wide for skill with the lance, you nevertheless choose this method of trial, knowing that if you lose you will be but one in many, yet if you win, your name will be instantly famous in the courts of Camelot. When you cross lances, however, you find that your oppon- ent wields the lance as though it were a sword, disarms you easily, then knocks you to the ground, wheels, and places the lance tip to your throat before you even know what has transpired! ~ JOUST5 You have been schooled by the best jousters in the kingdom, and so you feel smug as you watch your enemy prepare for battle. You note the odd lance, which seems too thick, making it clumsy, and too short, which should allow you to make contact before any harm can come to you. As you draw near, you make the final adjustments to your position, when suddenly you see your opponent activate a secret trigger on the handle of the thick lance, causing an extra three feet of deadly steel to surge forward and lock into place. You dodge to the right, but your adversary catches you on your left shoulder with the modified spear, driving you hard from your charger to land sharply upon the earth, driving the wind from your body and leaving you helpless. ~ HALL An officer of the guard nods to the men standing with crossed spears at the entrance to the great hall. They snap to attention and allow you to pass. Though you enter the great hall boldly, you are soon overwhelmed by the richness and majesty of the trimmings, and somewhat intimidated by the imposing figure seated on a magnificent throne at the other end of the chamber. You approach hesitantly. As you draw near, the regal figure points the royal scepter at you, and in a booming voice, says ~ GRIPE We hath neither time nor patience for complainers. If thou must annoy Us then be brief! Thou hast 4 lines of 75 characters to state thy grievance! And if We choose, We may dismiss thy claim without action, and perhaps even fine thee for thy insolence. First, what is the name of the accused? ~ HIRETHUGS You may hire up to fifteen of them at 75 gold coins apiece to attack the noble of your choice on a move of your choice (from 3 to 20) upon their next logon. If their target is in a city during the selected turn, the highwaymen will try once again during a second selected tern, but if thy opponent is once again within a city, or exits the kingdom before the second attempt, they will be relieved of any further obligation to you. Otherwise, they will attack without mercy, and if they prevail, they will keep the purse they capture, but will return to you any potions they obtain. ~ MAPMAKER Thou art before the apartments of the Mapmaker, who doth labor for many Lords and Ladies of the realm. Thine aide inquires, "Of what city dost thou wish to gain information, your Grace? If thou wouldst tell me the name or the location I will make the inquiry in thy name." ~ TILTING Here is thy chance to gain recognition and wealth The champions are gathered together to challenge all who dare to meet them on the field of honor. The greater the champion, the larger the purse, but the greater champions are loath to yield their gold. Thou art allowed a maximum of 12 jousts per day, but if thou art defeated five times in succession, thou wilt be finished jousting for the rest of the day. ~ MORGANA A shopkeeper sayeth 'My Mistress Morgan La Fey is not at home now, but I am empowered to act in her behalf. She hast concocted a rather large quantity of a traveling potion, but it wast contaminated by a virgin bat, so thou mayest purchase it quite reasonably. I must warn thee that its effects are ofttimes undependable. It seems to react most strangely in the presence of large quantities of gold.' ~ SCRIBENER An aged scribener greets thee at the gates of the city, followed by a small but battle hardened escort. "Your Grace," he says, in a voice which, although quavering slightly with age and infirmity, is evidently accustomed to giving commands, "prithee excuse my failing sight. I know that thou art a stranger in Excalibur, and I must have words with thee before thou mayest enter the city. Dost thou wish to apply for citizenship in our realm?" (Y/N) ~ GUILTY Your Majesty, the nobles of the realm hath adjudged the defendant to be guilty as charged. It is thy duty to administer punishment. Tradition dictates that thou must select from among the following sentences : (1) A fine of up to 5000 gold pieces divided between thee and the accuser. (2) Banishment from Camelot for up to ten days. (3) Confinement within Camelot for up to ten days. (4) Banishment from Excalibur! for up to five days. (5) Confiscation of possessions and cities, leaving the accused with only their map, to start the game anew. (Requires 80% guilty vote.) ~